Exploring Adoption

New Online Adoption Magazine Debuts

Weaving Families Adoption Ministry debuted its free online magazine this month.

RJ Caswell, Exective Director of the North Carolina-based ministry, writes:

Our mission is providing adoption counseling, education, and comfort throughout the lifelong journey of adoption. We felt the magazine "fit" with education and comfort, but we wanted it to be more than just an adoption magazine.  

Many churches are moving to orphan care and adoption ministries (we help start ours) and we know so many families who adopt want to be able to support orphan care ministries.  So, the magazine was born.  We wanted to include adoption education and personal adoption stories as well as ministries who are serving vulnerable children and families.

The summer issue (35 pages) is packed with articles, including:

• A column from author Kristen Wong
• An inside look at international adoption, from the perspective of the director of a child placing agency
• Hope for parents of children with difficult backgrounds
• Hints for affording adoption

The second issue comes out in September. RJ welcomes suggestions for articles and says, "We hope folks that read the magazine will find comfort and inspiration."

Camp for Adopted Teens Aug 28-30

Cindy Bigelow, founder and director of CHOSEN International, alerted me to the following:

Christian camp designed especially for teens, adopted at any age, both domestic and international.

Dates: August 28-30

Place: Eagle Fern Camp (near Portland, Oregon)

Camp theme: "The Father Heart of God,” and finding your identity in who God says you are

Speakers: Adult adoptees, including:

• Kim Deardorff, a musician from Nashville who was found in a garbage dump as a baby in Korea. He just finished touring with some of Christian music's top artists on the Winter Jam Tour.
• Stephanie Fast, an internationally-known speaker whose story is one of Focus on the Family's most requested broadcasts ever (I’ve heart Stephanie speak; she’s amazing).
• Michael Froke, who was in foster care and never adopted. He now is an adoptive dad, and leads a large recovery ministry in Southern Oregon.

Cost: $100, which includes a popular CHOSEN hoodie. Some partial scholarships are available through Chosen.  Also, some churches are paying the tuition for teens from their church to attend.

CHOSEN board member (and popular adoption author/speaker) Sherrie Eldridge has said:

"Something extraordinary happens when adoptees connect with one another, a reassurance of being understood, an unspoken bond, a feeling of camaraderie, a sense of belonging..."

Cindy writes:

The adult adoptees that we have as speakers have an incredible way of relating to the teens…they help them process many of the emotions related to feelings of abandonment, rejection, shame and loss by sharing the way God has taken them through these feelings to claim their inheritance from Him.

For more info and to download a registration form, visit the Events page at www.choseninternational.org.

CHOSEN International is a faith based nonprofit organization providing educational, emotional and spiritual support to teen adoptees and their parents.

Get Ready for Father’s Day Frosty Weekend

In keeping with the tradition that Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas started, Wendy’s has a mix of happenings this Father’s Day season where proceeds will be donated to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. 
 
At FrostyCard.com, kids can create a free, custom Father’s Day e-card or select a pre-designed card created by a celebrity. Wendy’s will donate 25¢ to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption for every card sent. 

 And, over Father’s Day Weekend (June 20-21), Wendy’s will donate 50¢ from every Frosty sold to the DTFA. There are two new Frosty flavors – Frosty-cino & Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty.

Here are some members of the Christianson clan enjoying Frostys last Father's Day:

New Georgia Law: Embryo Adoption an Official Type of Adoption

Up until now, embryo adoption has not been governed by the laws of any state. That changes July 1, 2009, with Georgia's "Option of Adoption Act." 

Michael Foust writes in the Christian Examiner:

"The bill (which was passed by the House 108-61 and the Senate 45-9, and signed by Governor Sonny Perdue) amends Georgia's adoption laws to make clear that embryo adoption in fact is a form of adoption.

The law also allows adoptive parents to file in court for a final order of adoption (for the child who is born as the result of the embryo adoption), which supporters of the new law say clarifies that the adopting parents are eligible for claiming some but not all of their expenses for the federal adoption tax credit..."

The new law defines an embryo as "an individualized fertilized ovum of the human species from the single-cell stage to eight-week development."

The law states: "A child born to a recipient intended parent as the result of embryo relinquishment ... shall be presumed to be the legal child of the recipient intended parent."

In the other 49 states, couples participating in an embryo adoption must sign private legal contracts that treat the embryo as property.

If a Birth Mom Uses Drugs/Alcohol During Her First Trimester, Will the Baby be Damaged?

One of my readers writes:

We are in the adoption process and have been matched with a prospective birth mom who is due in August.  We found out she took drugs and drank during the first trimester.
 
I'm sure it is possible the baby is just fine and won't show adverse effects, but it is just as possible that that she will, and it could be something that doesn't show up for a while.

The prospective birth mom says that she is not currently taking any drugs, but has still had alcohol a couple of times.

This mom-to-be would love to hear from others who have dealt with similar situations. I don't have much experience in this area, so if you can offer her some helpful advice, statistics, or resources where she can get more information, that would be great

Interested in Adoption? Talk About it on Twitter

I've been a member of the micro-blogging service, Twitter, for many months now (@bloggingbistro). But after reading Joel Comm's book, Twitter Power: How to Dominate Your Market One Tweet at a Time, I decided to start a second Twitter account so I can interact with others in the adoption community.

You can find me on Twitter @adoptionexpert.

You may be wondering: Isn't having two Twitter accounts a bit of overkill? Perhaps. But here's why I did it:

1. I own a business (Blogging Bistro) that helps people maximize their blogging and social media marketing. On my Blogging Bistro Twitter account, I provide helpful links to articles about marketing, business blogging, social media, and other business-related topics.
2. My alter-ego as an adoption author and adoption advocate doesn't fit within the social media marketing realm. I wanted to see whether an account dedicated solely to adoption issues would attract any attention.

It has. More than I ever expected. In the couple of weeks since I created the account, I've begun following 110 people who have direct connections to adoption:

• Pre- and post-adoptive parents
• Birth parents
• Adopted people
• Adoption professionals
• Adoption and orphan care organizations

These are the ONLY people I follow on @adoptionexpert. I did this on purpose, so that if you join Twitter and want to find other adoption tweeps to follow, all you have to do is follow the folks I follow.

And if you follow me, I'll follow you back if you tweet about adoption (just use the #adoption hashtag on your adoption tweets and I'll find you). 

The community of adoption Twitterers is small, but active, and growing at a fast clip. My tweeps (that's Twitterese for "Twitter peeps") constantly point me to interesting articles and opinions about adoption and share snippets about what's going on in their lives. Since I'm running a business and don't have time to blog daily here at Exploring Adoption, Twitter is a great way for me to keep up with what's going on in the world of adoption.

What are you waiting for? Set up a Twitter account and join us!
(If you need help getting the most out of Twitter, I provide low-cost consults. Contact me.)

P.S. You can also follow my most recent Twitter updates from the far righthand sidebar of this blog.

Barack Obama Adopted into Crow Nation

I vowed to ignore the Obamamania that has gripped Americans during the past few months. But when I spotted a headline that said Obama was adopted, I had to investigate.

It’s true. Obama’s adoptive parents are Hartford and Mary Black Eagle, of Lodge Grass, Montana. The Black Eagles, members of the 12,100-member Crow Nation, adopted Obama during a private ceremony this past summer.

In an article for The Washington Post, Michael Laris reports:
“…Hartford waved smoke from burning cedar needles over Obama, twice in the front and twice in the back, with a bald eagle fan. Afterward, Obama told reporters he was deeply moved by the ceremony…”

The adoption was not just a publicity stunt or an honorary degree; Obama is now considered a member of the Crow Nation. He was christened “Awe Kooda Bilaxpak Kuxshish,” which means “One Who Helps People Throughout This Land.”

His adoptive parents, who are in their mid-70s, were selected because they have five living generations on the reservation. The Black Eagles were seated in a place of honor during Obama’s inauguration.

Although Obama’s adoption was an obvious political move by both the Crow Nation and the Obama campaign, I’m still struck by the significance of the decision. A genetic or “blood” connection is NOT the be-all, end-all sign of true family. True family means welcoming a new family member—regardless of their age—honoring and caring for that person the remainder of your days. It means celebrating the unique qualities that person brings into your life.

As you go through your week, identify a person you might like to adopt—or ask to adopt you. Who is that person?

Related story:

• Actress Sharon Stone Adopts Grandparents

More on this story:

• The Caucus (New York Times Politics Blog)
• The Trail (The Washington Post Politics blog)

Having Trouble Finding Childcare? Try Speed Babysitting

Because adopted children usually arrive on the scene without much advance notice, parents who work outside the home (particularly single parents) must scramble to find childcare.  It’s not uncommon for an adoptive parent to spend most of his or her adoption leave madly searching for a nanny, daycare, or pre-school.

Enter speed babysitting. You’ve heard of speed dating, in which singles gather at a café or pub and chat for five minutes with a bunch of other singles. Apply that concept to finding a babysitter.

Sitter Socials, a California-based program, is one of a few services around the country that matches parents with available babysitters. Clients (aka, parents in need of a sitter) pay $50 to attend a neighborhood speed meeting (okay, “speed meeting” sounds vaguely illegal, but you get my drift). Parents spend three minutes apiece interviewing about a dozen potential babysitters. 

In addition, clients receive a book that contains profiles, references, and contact info for local babysitters (that, alone, would be worth 50 bucks!).

Sitter Socials also offer snacks and door prizes. After the initial speed interviews, there’s time for parents and sitters to negotiate deals.

It isn’t a perfect system, I suppose, but nothing in the I-need-childcare-right-now world is. I’m not sure whether speed babysitting applies to all-day care, or is just for parents in need of a night out. Either way, it might be worth looking into.

What do you think, readers? Have you tried speed babysitting? Did it work for you?

Source:
“Speed baby-sitting follows quickie dating,” by John Rogers, Associated Press, KnoxNews.com

British Couple Declared 'Too Fat to Adopt'

For a years now, we've been hearing that China will no longer allow overweight couples to apply to adopt a child.

Appears the same thing is happening in England, where the Leeds City Council informed Damien and Charlotte Hall: Sorry. No can do. You're morbidly obese. You cannot adopt.

Damien, at 24 1/2 stone (343 pounds), is 6'1". His Body Mass Index (BMI) is 42+, and the council told him he must reduce it to below 40 "because of a risk he could become ill or even die."

According to the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute, people are considered obese when their BMI is greater than or equal to 30 and overweight if their BMI is from 25 to 29.9. A person is considered morbidly obese when the BMI is over 40. The BMI is a measure of your weight relative to your height and waist circumference and measures abdominal fat.

We all know that obesity puts one at higher risk for a host of health issues, including cardiovascular disease, insulin resistance syndrome, stroke, fatty liver disease, gallblader disease, musculoskeletal disorders, breathing problems--even some types of cancer.

With so many folks falling into the "overweight" and "morbidly obese" range these days, it's a wonder anyone is allowed to adopt. Sixty percent of Americans are overweight, and 40 percent of those are obese, says David Murdock, owner of Dole Food Company (from Costco Connection magazine).

I feel for Damien and Charlotte. Because of fertility challenges, they are unable to birth a child. Because of weight challenges, they are unable at this time to adopt one. I understand that adoption agencies want parents who are healthy (physically and emotionally) and who have a good chance of living to see their child grow to adulthood.

But Charlotte and Damien have been married 11 years and been a couple for 14 (a good sign that they're stable and relatively content). They don't drink or smoke. They have good jobs. Damien says, "I'm not a couch potato and I don't sit eating takeaways every night. I just feel as though we were only judged on my weight and not all the other good things about us."

When there are so many children out there waiting to be adopted, I hate seeing prospective parents' worth being based on weight alone.

I'm torn on this one, readers. What do you think? How much "weight" should be given to one's weight when determining their readiness to adopt?

Would you be allowed to adopt, based on your weight? Calculate your BMI and see if you'd qualify: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

Sources:

• The Press Association
• National Heart Lung and Blood Institute

Lifelike Dolls Take the Place of Real Babies for Some Parents

They look and feel like a newborn baby.

But their limbs are vinyl, their glass eyeballs are imported from Germany, and their rosy cheeks are hand-painted.

Women are buying these lifelike “reborn dolls” by the thousands.  That’s right. I said women. Not girls.

Apparently, reborns are taking the place of real babies for some women who have had multiple miscarriages, are infertile, or don’t have the resources to adopt a child.

ABC’s 20/20 quoted one mommy of a reborn doll, who said that her experience with her baby has been “very nurturing, it's very cathartic.”

Does anyone else find this trend more than a little odd?

I understand the pain of infertility and the frustration of waiting seemingly forever to adopt a child – I’ve lived with it myself. And I understand that “cuddle therapy” can release beneficial endorphins in the brain.

But taking a looks-like-a-real-baby-doll out in public and pretending it’s your real baby? Paying $1,400 for a reborn instead of parenting a real child? That’s just plain creepy.

There are plenty of options for women who long for “baby time.”

• Rocking sick babies in the hospital
• Temporary foster parenting of newborns waiting to be adopted
• Interim babysitting for single parents
• Volunteering in the church nursery
• Visiting an orphanage
• Helping in a teen parenting program

Am I missing a vital perspective here, readers? Help me out; chime in with your opinion!

Related story & photos:
Bogus baby boom: Women who collect lifelike dolls