Exploring Adoption

Is Your Adopted Child an Axe Murderer? 'Orphans' Movie Would Have Us Believe So

Several of my Twitter "tweeps" alerted me to a new slasher movie that's being released by Warner Brothers Pictures July 24. In Orphan, Kate (Vera Farmiga) and her husband John (Peter Sarsgaard) decide to adopt an older child from a local orphanage. 

They meet with the orphanage director, who warns them, "Adopting an older child is not an easy decision."

Almost as soon as they welcome Esther (Isabelle Fuhrmann) into their home, an alarming series of events begins to unfold, leading Kate to believe that there's something wrong with Esther--this seemingly angelic little girl is not what she appears to be.

In a movie trailer strongly reminiscent of the 1976 horror flick, Carrie, we learn that Esther was in a mental hospital before being adopted, and that the orphanage has never heard of her.

During one scene in the trailer, Esther states, ""It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own."

Sigh. 

My own (adopted) children are axe murderers -- aren't yours? All adopted children have something wrong with them, just by virtue of being adopted. Right?

Apparently, the misguided Hollywood screenwriters think so. And they see an adoption-themed horror movie as the perfect means to play on the public's fears about adopted children... and make millions in the process.

In a blog post by Cathy Doheny at CharolotteExaminer.com, she suggests that people in the adoption community boycott the movie (which is Rated R, so who'd bring their kids to it, anyway?); tell others to boycott the movie, post warnings about the movie on adoption forums; and petition Warner Brothers to change the negative adoption lingo.

She also recommends preparing school-aged adopted children about the movie, so they'll have ways to cope with the misconceptions about adoption suggested by this movie.

Cathy also says:

Contact the distributors (Warner Brothers), the producer (Dark Castle Entertainment), and the developer of the material (Leonardo DiCaprio’s Appian Way, who is also co-producing the film) and express your concern about the negative impact of the film on the cause of adoption.

Apparently, Warner Brothers responded to angry e-mails, saying:

We "would like to inform you that we are changing the marketing materials related to this film on a forward-going basis.

"The Orphan" is a work of fiction, and we apologize if we appeared insensitive in advertising the film, as it's never our intent to offend anyone with our products."

No changes have been made to the trailer, however.

The adoption community is continuing to put pressure on Warner Brothers, and the movement has gone viral, with a new Facebook group, I am Boycotting Warner Bros.' "Orphan" Movie.

As of this moment in time, the group has 906 members (including me). Won't you consider joining us?

Comprehensive List of Infertility Books

It's always a challenge to find a good list of books on infertility, so I felt I'd hit the jackpot when Tina Smith from the Fertility Center in Chattanooga, TN referred me to their site:

• MyFertilityCenter.com

The Support Central area provides a huge list of infertility books, Web site links, and articles.

Thanks, Tina, for sharing this site loaded with helpful resources!

Adoption-Themed Novel: Jesse's Girl

Adoptive dad Gary Morgenstein alerted me to his new novel, Jesse's Girl. The story is about a widowed father’s search for his troubled teen, who has run away from a wilderness treatment program.

Gary writes:

The story opens as a jarring phone wakes lifelong Brooklynite and widowed father Teddy Mentor well after midnight. It’s the Montana wilderness substance abuse program saying that his 16-year-old adopted son has run away… and they haven't a clue where he’s gone.

 Only two weeks earlier, Jesse had been taken to the program by escorts to deal with substance abuse problems. Jeopardizing his flagging PR job in New York, Mentor rushes across the country to find Jesse, who is off on his own quest: to find Theresa, the sister he's never known.

Gary’s previous novels are Take Me Out to the Ballgame and The Man Who Wanted to Play Center Field for the New York Yankees. His latest novel, Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman, a romantic triangle about a divorced middle-aged man who falls in love with a beautiful rabbi, was just published on Amazon.com. His play, Ponzi Man, played to sell-out crowds at a recent New York Fringe Festival.

*Note from Laura - I have not yet read Gary's novel, so this announcement is merely that: an announcement that I thought would interest those who like to read adoption-themed novels. Enjoy!

'Adoption Decision' Now Available Through Crossings Book Club - for 20 Cents!

I was pleasantly surprised to open my mail today and discover a hardback copy of my book, The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting.

Up until now, The Adoption Decision has been available only in paperback. The hardback is the new Crossings Book Club Edition.

Here's the cool thing:

You can buy my book through Crossings for only 20 cents when you join the club! That's right -- I said twenty CENTS (the book retails for $13.99).

So, what's the catch? I investigated the membership terms, and here's the deal:

When you join Crossings, you get five books for 99 cents (plus shipping and handling and applicable taxes).

The fine print says that you agree to buy 4 books at regular Club prices in the next 2 years. You can make your first Club purchase for $5.99 (plus shipping and handling and applicable taxes), which means you'll only have to buy 3 books in the next 2 years.

I've been a member of various book clubs on and off for years, and I know that they constantly run special promos on books, so you do end up saving money, especially if you purchase only the required four books and then cancel your membership (shhhh... don't tell them I said that).

The nice thing about Crossings is that they do NOT automatically send you the book of the month. You'll get a catalog every 3 weeks, but you only order books when YOU want. I like that.

I checked out the shipping and handling charges, and for the introductory offer, you pay $5.74 for the first book and $1.99 for each additional book plus sales tax where applicable.

Soooo.... you're looking at a grand total of $22.67 (plus sales tax where applicable) for six hardback books. That's $3.78 per book, including shipping. Not bad at all. Really good, in fact!

They also note that you can return your Introductory Package within 20 days of receipt at their expense.

Here's a suggestion:

If you want to read The Adoption Decision with your adoption support group or book club (I included study questions for each chapter at the end of the book), join Crossings and order six copies of The Adoption Decision!  Now, that's a good deal.

Sleeping With the Enemy

I just returned from a 5-day trip to Florida, where I taught at the Florida Christian Writers' Conference. My roommate at the conference was Natalie Gillespie, author of Successful Adoption: A Guide for Christian Families.

 Her book directly competes with my book, The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting.

So, why would I choose to room with the enemy (aka, the competition)? Several reasons:

I like her book. Natalie's book offers a thorough overview of the nuts-and-bolts of adopting. It's a how-to guide for the uninitiated.

My book takes a close look at the emotions parents go through before, during, and after adopting. Both books are written from a Christian worldview. So in reality, our books don't compete with one another; they complement one another. 

I wanted to get to know the person behind the book. Authors are fun people to meet, and Natalie was no exception. Although we were both busy with our teaching duties, we managed to have lunch together one day. And during a chance meeting at the bottom of the stairs when we were heading to and from our room, we shared our life stories. The only time we were actually in our room together was when we were sleeping, and usually, one of us snuck in and out while the other slumbered (she lives in Florida; I live in Washington State... the time zone difference probably had something to do with our differing sleep schedules).

The first thing I learned about Natalie is that she is generous and thoughtful. When I entered our room, a gigantic box of chocolates and gift bag filled with girlie goodies awaited me. From a woman I'd never met before. 

I learned that she's had more than her fair share of challenging life experiences, through parenting bio children, step children, and adopted children (plus, twins from China will soon join their family).

I learned that she's a woman of many talents. Natalie edits books & magazines, writes professionally, and homeschools, among other things. And I thought I was busy!

In a couple of weeks, I'm heading to Green Bay, Wisconsin, where I'm keynoting at the Ours Through Adoption Conference, along with Adam Pertman, author of Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming America (no, we're not rooming together!).

Adam is also the Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, and was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for his writing about adoption in The Boston Globe. I'm looking forward to meeting another fellow journalist and sharing in educating others about adoption from the podium and the classroom.

'The Adoption Decision' Named in Top 12 Adoption Books

Families.com named The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting, as one of their top-rated non-fiction books about adoption.

In her round-up review, Pam Connell writes:

The Adoption Decision is personal. It tells about the author's two domestic infant adoptions and about several false starts and near-adoption heartaches. The author also shares anecdotes from other couples and some poetry written by her son's birthmother as she asks adoptive parents to thoughtfully consider several issues as they make their own adoption decision.

Since I am the author, I want to clarify that while this book is non-clinical and contains personal anecdotes from my own adoption experiences, as well as those of about 40 other singles and couples, it also contains practical tips for people who are adopting internationally and domestically via foster care.

Some of the chapter titles are:

We Need a Hero
"It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's... Supermom!" (people's perceptions of adoptive parents)

Pass the Bucks
The Price of Parenthood (creative ways to pay for adoption)

Labor of Love
Pregnant Without a Due Date (the adoption process)

Out-of Diaper Experience
Adopting a 'Grown-up' (adopting an older child)

Culture Club
Extreme Makeover: Adoption Edition (honoring your child's ethnic/cultural heritage)

My DNA Made Me Do It
Hyperactive, Promiscuous, and Criminal...Oh My! (dealing with unexpected challenges)

Open-Door Policy
To Boldly Go Where No Mom Has Gone (how to conquer common fears about openness in adoption)

Mega Book Giveaway: 'The Adoption Network'

I'm passionate about helping churches and faith-based organizations start adoption/orphan care ministries.

In the November issue of Adoption World e-zine, I announced that I am donating copies of my book, The Adoption Network: Your Guide to Starting a Support System, to churches, denominations, seminaries, para-church organizations, and faith-based adoption events.

What a response! During the past two weeks, I have shipped out over 700 books! People have ordered anywhere from one to 200+ copies at a time. Several church denominations have requested copies for every church in their region.

Now that I'm relatively caught up, I thought I'd let the rest of the world know about my mega-ministry book donation.

A bit about the book:

The Adoption Network is a 112-page, softcover workbook for those who want to start a face-to-face community of support for adoptive and foster parents, first/birth parents, and/or adopted people of all ages.

The book provides step-by-step instructions and worksheets for how to:

• develop a mission statement
• plan a budget
• recruit leadership
• create workshops, support groups, social events, mentoring programs, and more

While The Adoption Network specifies how to create faith-based ministries, it is generic enough that it can be used for any type of adoption network. The book retails for $9.99, so getting multiple copies for the price of shipping/packaging is deal that can't be beat.

The generosity of some dear friends enabled me to purchase several thousand copies of The Adoption Network (yes, authors have to purchase our own books!).

I'm "paying it forward" by donating copies of my book to ministries. Do you know people who could use this handbook? Whether it's one individual, a planning team of 20, a regional governing body of 200, or a conference of 2,000, I will donate copies of The Adoption Network.

I request two things:

1. You pay shipping (let me know how many books you need and I'll calculate actual shipping costs).
2. You "pay it forward" by giving the books to those who can use them. Feel free to use the books as door prizes (not door stops), as small group study guides, and as gifts for church leaders and others interested in adoption/orphan ministry.  
   

Contact me today: laura@laurachristianson.com, and we'll set up your book shipment.

Tell everyone you know about the ministry giveaway of The Adoption Network, and feel free to link to this post or reprint it on your own blog/Web site.

And the Winners are...

The winners of the Single Sashimi book giveaway contest are: Holly, Doreen, and Lynn.

I'll be contacting you to get your mailing address so Camy Tang can send you your book. Congratulations!

Author Camy Tang Discusses Adoption

In yesterday’s post, I introduced you to my author friend, Camy Tang, a “loud Asian chick who writes loud Asian chick lit.”

Camy writes romance with a kick of wasabi. She used to be a biologist, but now she is a staff worker for her church youth group and leads a worship team for Sunday service. She also runs the Story Sensei fiction critique service. On her blog, she gives away Christian novels every Monday and Thursday, and she ponders frivolous things like dumb dogs (namely, hers), coffee-geek husbands (no resemblance to her own...), the writing journey, Asiana, and anything else that comes to mind.

Camy and I chatted about adoption, racism, and Christian fiction:

Laura: You and your husband are thinking about starting a family. Have you considered adopting? Why or why not?

Camy: Actually, we have considered adoption. My husband and I have worked with our church youth group for years and are open to adopting an older child, although we’re still in prayer about it.

We’ve also discussed adopting from China.

Laura: Since you’re Asian-American, would you prefer to adopt an Asian child? Or are you open to adopting a child of any racial/ethnic background?

Camy: I personally would like to adopt a little girl from China because we could raise her in a Chinese American household and help her understand the variety and riches of her racial background.

Laura: Have you faced any overt or subtle racism? If so, can you give us an example of how you dealt with it?

Camy: Actually, I have been very lucky because I haven’t experienced much racism at all. I grew up in Hawaii, where the majority ethnicity is Asian, and in moving to northern California, I’m still surrounded by Asians since there is a large Asian population here.

I think the only “racism” I’ve encountered personally have been a few Caucasian guys with Asian fetishes who visited my church when I was still single and who targeted all the Asian girls.

Laura: What inspired you to write Asian American chick-lit from a Christian perspective?

Camy: I love Christian fiction, but noticed there just weren’t many Christian novels about Asians, and there weren’t ANY Christian novels about Asian Americans (very different from Asians in, say, China) or any Christian novels written by Asians.

Since I’ve pretty much grown up in the Asian American culture, I wanted to write something that might be interesting and unique to Christians growing up in other ethnic American households.

I also tend more toward humor than women’s fiction or historical novels (anyone who visits my blog regularly knows I’m very silly and irreverent), so I naturally gravitated toward chick lit.

Laura: Do you base your characters on real people/situations? Where does “fact” stop and “fiction” take over?

My characters are mostly fiction. I try really, really hard not to base any characters’ personalities off of people in real life. In my opinion, that’s just not polite.

However, peripherals like a character’s occupation or maybe a character’s unique quirk of behavior will sometimes come from real life stories I hear.

Laura: Tell us a little about your upcoming books.

Camy: The novel that just released is Single Sashimi, the third book in the Sushi series. Here’s a blurb:

Drake Yu. Why would Drake call her after … what, five years? Six?

Venus heard in his voice that resonance that was almost a growl, that titanium-hard determination to get what he wanted. And he usually got what he wanted. The voice said: “I want you to work for me.”

Not this time… If it was a choice between Drake and McDonald’s—she’d choose french fries. She’d never work for him again. It would take an act of God.

Venus Chau is determined to start her own game development company and launch the next Super Mario-sized phenomenon. However, she needs an investor to back her idea. When Drake Yu, an old nemesis, approaches Venus with a contracting opportunity at his sister’s startup, the offer to become Chief Operating Officer tempts Venus to think the unthinkable.

Venus would rather throw away her PS3 than work for Drake again … except Grandma bribes Venus to do this favor for Drake’s wealthy family with a coveted introduction to the most respected investor in the game industry. It’s also a short job—only a few months—so Venus won’t have to stand Drake’s presence for very long.

But one wild youth group, a two-faced assistant, and Grandma’s determined match-making threaten to make them both fail—or go insane. With the encouragement of her three cousins, Lex, Trish, and Jennifer, Venus discovers that even a wounded heart can undergo a beautiful transformation …

My next novel is a Christian romantic suspense titled Deadly Intent, coming out in August 2009 (tentative date) from Steeple Hill’s Love Inspired Suspense line.

This may not be the actual back cover blurb, but here’s a blurb I submitted recently in my Art Fact Sheet:

THERE WAS A DEAD BODY IN HER MASSAGE ROOM

And massage therapist Naomi Grant is suspected of murder. She’s frustrated and helpless as a web of lies closes in around her, framing her. She doesn’t have time to worry about her shaky faith or think about her growing attraction to the victim’s ex-husband, Dr. Devon Knightley.

Orthopedic surgeon Devon had only needed to claim his mother’s necklace back from his ex-wife, but suddenly he’s embroiled in a murder investigation and someone is trying to kill him. He wants to somehow protect Naomi from the trap being set around her, but can he keep them both safe against a villain with deadly intent?

Laura: Your Sushi series books focus on four cousins. Will there be a fourth book in the series?

Camy: There will be a fourth book in the Sushi series. It will be a novella and I’ll have it available FREE for my newsletter YahooGroup subscribers (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Camys_Loft) or as a print on demand book available for purchase on Amazon.

Laura: What’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day in Silicon Valley?

Walk the dog! We live right next to the rolling foothills and it’s really nice to go walking. My only problem is that my dog is not good around other dogs (she’s really friendly with people, though). So I have to be careful when she encounters other dogs on her walks.

I'm giving away THREE copies of Camy's latest novel, Single Sashimi, this week. All you have to do is post a comment on this post (or on the previous post). Tell us why you love/hate chick lit, Christian fiction, or sushi. Or ask Camy a question. I’ll announce the winners on October 21, 2008.

Visit Camy’s website at www.camytang.com/ for a huge website contest going on right now. Camy's giving away ten boxes of books and 30 copies of her latest release, SINGLE SASHIMI.

Meet Camy Tang, a Loud Asian Chick

Camy Tang is a self-described “loud Asian chick who writes loud Asian chick lit.”

I am…well…a quiet Caucasian chick who writes about adoption. Still, when Camy and I met at a writers’ conference a couple of years ago, we hit it off famously and vowed that we are kindred blogging spirits. Just for fun, we decided to make guest appearances on each other’s blogs.

I was thrilled when, a couple of weeks ago, I heard that Camy’s first novel, Sushi for One?, won first place in the Debut Author category of the 2008 American Christian Fiction Writers Book of the Year contest. (Try saying that three times, fast!)

Camy was thrilled, too. She told me, “I was so excited at the awards ceremony that I screamed like a banshee and said something really stupid for my thank you speech.”

I recently gobbled up the first two novels in Camy’s Sushi Series:  Sushi for One? and Only Uni  (the third book, Single Sashimi, was released in August).

For years, I avoided reading Christian fiction because it was too sickly-sweet, too predictable, and the characters were just too darn wholesome. But when I started making friends with Christian novelists, I figured I’d better at least give their work a look-see.

It has been so refreshing to read—and enjoy—this unique new voice in Christian fiction. In the Sushi Series, Camy creates four single, 20-something Asian-American cousins who belong to a large extended family dominated by a manipulative grandma whose goal in life is to marry off her granddaughters.

Each book in the series focuses on a different cousin. In Sushi for One?, we meet Lex Sakai,  a spunky, volleyball-playing athlete who has compiled a huge list of traits Mr. Right must fulfill. Only problem is, all of the guys she dates are Mr. Wrong.

In Only Uni, we learn more about Lex’s cousin Trish Sakai, a flirt who has done more than her share of sleeping around, and is now attempting—rather unsuccessfully—to make amends for her wild lifestyle. Turning her life around is complicated by the fact that her gorgeous ex-boyfriend is stalking her.

I love the characters’ snappy banter, flawed relationships with one another (and with the various men they date), and their struggles to discern what God wants for them. I appreciate the way Camy gives us glimpses into Asian-American culture and into a tightly-knit extended family. Unlike most chick-lit, where you know how the story will end after the first page, I was surprised by the plot twists and turns, particularly in Only Uni.

If you want a refreshing change from the lusty, foul-mouthed, Prada-wearing heroines that populate most chick-lit novels, give Camy’s books a try. You won’t be sorry.

Camy has graciously agreed to give away copies of Single Sashimi to THREE readers of my blog! To enter the giveaway, simply post a comment below this entry. If you want, tell us why you love/hate chick lit, Christian fiction, or sushi. Or ask Camy a question. I’ll announce the winners on October 20, 2008.

Tomorrow, I’ll feature an interview with Camy Tang. You can visit Camy at www.camytang.com or stop by her blog, Camy's Loft.