Exploring Adoption

Adoption Books: Start Your Own Low-Cost Lending Library

My book, The Adoption Network, includes ideas for starting an adoption support community in a small town or small church—one where there are few foster or adoptive families. One of my low-budget recommendations is to start a resource lending library.

Gracie, a foster mom who blogs at “The Journey of a Lifetime,” took that suggestion to heart and joined BookMooch, a free, online book trading service. Gracie writes:

The only cost involved is the shipping cost of books people mooch from you. I've been able to get some of my adoption books this way, which definitely helps with the expense.

Gracie then added a cool feature to her blog: she created her own online lending library. She writes:

“Our church is small and therefore not very conducive to circulating adoption books to those outside of it. So this has become my venue for making these available to whomever I meet. I plan on writing a review on each book, and asking those who borrow a book to leave a comment on the ones they read with a short review as well.”

Gracie’s inventory currently includes the following books:

• Fields of the Fatherless : C. Thomas Davis
• The Adoption Decision : Laura Christianson  
• The Adoption Network : Laura Christianson
• The Complete Adoption Book : Laura & Raymond Godwin
• Becoming a Family : Lark Eshleman, Ph.D.
• Toddler Adoption : Mary Hopkins-Best
• Attaching in Adoption : Deborah D. Gray
• Nurturing Adoptions : Deborah D. Gray
• Dear Birthmother : Kathleen Silber & Phylis
• The Adoption Experience : Lois Ruskai Melina & Sharon Kaplan Roszia
• Real Parents, Real Children : Holly van Gulden & Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb
• Adoption as a Ministry, Adoption as a Blessing : Michelle Gardner
• Launching an Orphans Ministry : Jason Weber (FamilyLife)
• Children of Open Adoption : Kathleen Silber & Patricia Martinez Dorner
• How It Feels to be Adopted : Jill Krementz
• A Mind at a Time : Mel Levine, M.D.
• I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla : Marguerite A. Wright
• Acres of Hope : Patty Anglin

Gracie reviewed both my books on her blog. She wrote me: “Your Adoption Network book has been the best of its kind that I have found. I appreciated all the practical ideas of ways to get involved.”

Check out her reviews:

The Adoption Decision review
The Adoption Network review

Thanks, Gracie, for sharing a fantastic, workable idea for distributing adoption-related books!

-------------------------------

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Create your own E-newsletters and e-mail templates

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

What it’s Like to Participate in an Orphan Hosting Program

The last two posts have introduced you to orphan hosting programs. Linda Goodnight  has hosted four children since 2005. She told me about her experiences with two hosting programs that she recommends:

URGEX, U.S.-Russian Global Exchange 
www.urgex.net

Fostering Hope 
www.hopeukraine.org

Q: Do you need to be actively seeking adoption in order to participate in the program?

A: Not with these two. Not at all. In fact, they are host-only programs, although some people do end up adopting their hosted child.

Q: What training do host families receive prior to the child's visit?

A: With both Fostering Hope and Urgex, an e-mail seminar is provided.

• Urgex also provides a world of language info and other resources to prepare the host family.
• Fostering Hope also has a close-knit group that meets to discuss the program and the coming children so that parents are prepared.

Q: How much does it cost to participate in the program?

A: Both programs were about $2,300 total. If you live on the east coast, this is quite a bit cheaper, but because I live in the central part of the U.S., the child had to be flown to me and this added another airline fare.

Q:  How long does the child stay in your home? 

A: 3-4 weeks, depending on the time of year.

Q:  What host program activities do you and the child participate in during the visit?

A: Get-togethers with the other families.Each site has a coordinator that sets up some outings that all can attend. There are also telephone translators for any problems that may arise and a caregiver from the orphanage.We, personally, never had any issues.

Q: What is the most challenging aspect of hosting an orphaned child?

A: You're probably expecting me to say “language,” but it really wasn't. There are many ways to communicate and we did incredibly well. The hardest thing about hosting is sending the children back at the end of the vacation. We know going in that this will happen, but it is still so, so difficult to say goodbye.

Q:  What is the most rewarding aspect of hosting an orphaned child?

A: The entire experience is immensely rewarding.   
Examples:

• Seeing a child's eyes when they experience something they have never seen before—something as simple as bubble bath or a vacuum cleaner or a clothes drier. 
• Hearing those first English words, spoken with a darling accent, “sank oo.”
• Giving them the attention they have craved for so long and done without and watching them bloom from it. I could go on and on about the positives of opening your heart to a needy child.
• Best of all, I keep up a correspondence with the kids, sending them little cards and gifts. They write back. I know I have touched lives forever. In fact, one child wrote about her hosting experience: “Those were the best days of my life.”

Q:  Did you adopt the children you hosted?

A: We had planned to adopt the first child we hosted through a disreputable group. When that fell through, we decided to host for the joy of it and not worry about adoption anymore.

Q:  Why do you recommend these programs?

A: Both of the programs I have discussed are professional, caring, wonderful programs who are deeply committed to the children. They do their best to keep the cost as low as possible and work hard to provide the most positive experience for everyone. They also both do humanitarian work in the orphanages before and after the hosting.

Related posts:

• Orphan Hosting Programs: New Horizons for Children
• Orphan Hosting Programs: The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project
• Cultural Programs for Adopting Russian Orphans
• Pros and Cons of Hosting Programs for Soviet Bloc Orphans
• The Foundation for Orphans - links to many orphan hosting programs

Other posts in the Orphan Care series:

• 7 Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted
  
• Orphan Care Organizations

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

Orphan Hosting Programs: The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project

In my last post, I introduced you to a program that brings orphans from other countries for short-term stays with host families in your area. Here’s another:

 

www.lhproject.com

Lisa Smith, program director, says this is “a Christian older orphan vacation hosting program for orphans from Russia. We have done 33+ trips since 1997 and I myself have helped more than 800+ Russian orphans become adopted. I lived in Russia for 10 years and am also a facilitator.

Their Website states:

Through 10-day vacation bible school trips to the US to prospective adopting host families, we have helped over 350 Russian orphans find Christian 'forever homes'.

A fee of $600 for the first child you host is required to be paid by host families to defer the cost of the transportation of the children. In the case of sibling groups (related or unrelated sibs), parents are given the option of hosting a second child at an additional cost.

Lisa says she is looking for new hosting cities for her program. If you or your church is interested in having a group of older Russian orphans visit your area, please contact Lisa via her Website.

Related posts:

• What It's Like to Participate in an Orphan Hosting Program
• Orphan Hosting Programs: New Horizons for Children
• Cultural Programs for Adopting Russian Orphans
• Pros and Cons of Hosting Programs for Soviet Bloc Orphans
• The Foundation for Orphans - links to many orphan hosting programs

Other posts in the Orphan Care series:

• 7 Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted
• Orphan Care Organizations

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

Orphan Hosting Programs: New Horizons for Children

If you're thinking about adopting an older child internationally, you might consider participating in a program that brings children from other countries for short-term stays with host families in your area.
In the next few posts, I’ll be introducing you to several programs.

New Horizons for Children, Inc.
www.newhorizonsforchildren.org

Regional programs operate in the Northeast, Southeast, Central Texas, and West Coast. The deadline for applying to be a summer 2008 host family is April 30, 2008.  Le Ann Dakake, Director of Hosting Programs, told me a bit about their program:

Q: Why did you start New Horizons for Children?

A: I started it after my husband and I adopted an older teen from Russia in 2000. Now he is 21 and his prayer has always been for God to help his friends and other orphans find families, too. We have now adopted 5 times… most recently after becoming a last minute backup family to a little boy age 5 with mild Cerebral Palsy… we weren’t expecting to adopt nor ever considered a handicapped child… he is now home and we can’t remember life without him in it! In all, we figure about 80% of our host families don’t expect to adopt, but 70%+ do.

Q: You are a non-denominational Christian ministry. Do your host families need to be Christians?

A: Our host families are of a Christian faith, and our aim is to share the love of Jesus with kids who may have never known or realize they do have a Father! The same one we all have, in Heaven, who loves them very much.

Q: Do you need to be actively seeking adoption in order to participate in the program?

A: No.

Q: What training do host families receive prior to the child's visit?

A: Full day in Atlanta area or Philadelphia area, host parent training manual, telephone and email support and access to past host families.

Q: How much does it cost to participate in the program?

A: Cost of the child’s travel: $1,950 presently.

Q: How long does the child stay in your home?

A: 4-5 weeks (4 weeks at Christmas—mid-December through mid-January, or 5 weeks in summer—late June through early August)

Q: What host program activities do you and the child participate in during the visit?

A:

1. Group events if the family lives within the program radius on some weekends, usually 7-10 days apart.
2. Welcome party: America 101. This is a Christian experience with crafts and games.
3. Farewell party. Out of program families who live more than 2.5 hours from core programs in Atlanta or Houston or Philadelphia do not attend these and have other connection needs with email of photos, calls to chaperones etc.

Q: What is the most challenging aspect of hosting an orphaned child?

A: Expectations of family and child not being equal. Keeping in mind the child is an orphan, and became that way from something that happened to them. They don’t “look like” orphans, so families tend to forget and raise expectations beyond what a child is ready for.
The farewell at the airport is really tough. But, all kids come as a group and must return as a group, or the program will end.

Q: What is the most rewarding aspect of hosting an orphaned child?

A: The blessing of experiencing life through a child’s eyes and teaching love from a family perspective, realizing communication is 20% verbal and 80% non-verbal and connecting with a child who came into your home not speaking your language or being familiar with your schedules, culture, meals, living conditions, ways of showing love, etc.

Related posts:

• What it's Like to Participate in an Orphan Hosting Program
• The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project
• Cultural Programs for Adopting Russian Orphans
• Pros and Cons of Hosting Programs for Soviet Bloc Orphans
• The Foundation for Orphans - links to many orphan hosting programs

Other posts in the Orphan Care series:

• 7 Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted
• Orphan Care Organizations

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

Faith-Based Resources for Infertility & Adoption Support

One of my readers has formed a support group in her parish for those who suffer infertility, miscarriage, infant death, and the challenges of the adoption process.

She would like to locate faith-based fliers or brochures on those topics so her group can offer these materials in their local churches.

I know of several books and internet resources on these topics, but haven't seen much in the way of brochures. Readers, let's create a list together.

Bethany Christian Services offers a resource catalog that contains a variety of booklets and brochures for:

• adoptive parents
• pregnancy counseling
• churches

For churches, they offer a brochure that answers common questions pastors have about crisis pregnancy, adoption, and infertility. They also have an adoption poster, an adoption bulletin insert, and a booklet of meditations about the sanctity of human life.

One of my favorite resources for infertility support and pregnancy loss is Stepping Stones, also a ministry of Bethany Christian Services. I have subscribed to the Stepping Stones newsletter for years -- the 8-page quarterly publication always contains encouraging stories and interesting tidbits.

Bethany also has a state-by-state support group directory for infertility, pregnancy loss, and adoption.

The Christian Alliance for Orphans focuses on orphan care ministry and includes several resources for adoption, foster care, orphan care, and church orphans ministry. The site also lists a few support groups and faith-based adoption ministries.

If you're looking for a resource handbook on how to start a faith-based adoption or orphan care ministry, be sure to check out my book, The Adoption Network.

Presbyterians Pro-Life offers a church resource packet called "God Gives Us LIFE Through Adoption." The packet includes a poster you can display at your church, and contains information designed to raise awareness of the adoption option among church members and especially among young women making pregnancy decisions.

Hannah's Prayer Ministries is one of my long-time favorite resources that provides Christian support for women experiencing infertility (including secondary infertility), pregnancy loss, or infant/child loss.

FamilyLife's Hope For Orphans offers links to several infertility and adoption-related resources.

If you're looking for books that offer support and encouragement for people facing fertility challenges, miscarriage, or infant loss, visit my Amazon bookstore. You'll also find lots of great adoption books listed there, organized by topic so you can easily find what you need.

Readers, what are your favorite faith-based infertility and/or adoption resources?

Adoption Support: A Must-Have for Adoptive & Birth Families

If you're a regular reader of my Exploring Adoption blog, you know that I'm a big advocate for getting connected with a community of support -- whether you're an adopted person, a birth/first parent, or an adoptive parent.

I was recently a guest on "Mornings With Scott & Sam" on KCMS Spirit 105.3 in Seattle. We discussed some different ways people can seek support and ways those who have a heart for supporting others can create a support network in their community or church. I invite you to listen to the 9 minute interview (scroll to the bottom of the screen at the Spirit 105.3 site and click the Play button).

I'll send a free copy of my book, The Adoption Network, to the first five people who listen to the interview and comment (at the bottom of this post) about something you learned and/or critique the interview. I'm always trying to improve my speaking skills, and I appreciate your suggestions!

Honoring Your Pastor During Clergy Appreciation Month

October is Clergy Appreciation Month. There are few more important things you can do than telling your clergyperson how much you appreciate him or her (my dad and my father-in-law are pastors, and so I know firsthand that pastors don't get many "strokes").

If you're looking for some creative ways to thank your clergyperson for all he/she does on your behalf, check out "8 Ways to Encourage Your Pastor"  from Today's Christian magazine.

I'd like to suggest two additional things you can do:

1. Write your clergyperson a letter of appreciation every year on your birthday (that way, you won't forget to do it). In your letter, share something specific that you will be praying on your pastor's behalf throughout the year.
2. Send your pastor a copy of The Adoption Network. Most clergy are familiar with scripture that explains how Christians are spiritually adopted into God's family. But how can pastors and churches convey that message in practical terms? By starting a ministry for adoptive and foster families, birth parents, orphans, and/or adopted people.

My book, The Adoption Network, explains everything a clergyperson or layperson needs to know to plan, build, and launch an adoption or orphan care ministry. I'm offering a 2-for-1 special -- for only $12.95 (including shipping in the US), you can buy two autographed copies of this book (one for you, and one to give to your clergyperson). If you'd like me to inscribe something special for your pastor, just let me know when you submit your PayPal order.

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Transracial Adoption and Self-Identity

Check out this intriguing interview with J.B. Watkins, Senior Pastor of St. Roch Community Church, a multicultural congregation in New Orleans.

J.B., who is bi-racial, offers some good suggestions about how white parents who are raising black children can help their children develop a healthy awareness of their black identity.

He also addresses how different-race parents can help their children deal with racism, how to offset raising different-race children when you live in a non-integrated neighborhood, and other important topics.

Source: From Hope to Reality, Oct. 10, 2007

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Visiting the Children in a Chinese Orphanage

Today we welcome guest columnist, Lynn Crooks, who shares a beautiful story about his experiences volunteering in a Chinese orphanage.

Lynn and his wife, Brenda, are orphan/adoption advocates in Avon, Indiana.  They lead the orphan ministry at their local church, are founders of Families for the Children, and lead teams to visit orphans in conjunction with Orphan Voice. They are the parents of 3 children, 11 grandchildren, and are in the process of adopting a special needs child.

What do a business manager, a systems analyst, a computer programmer, a grade school teacher, and a college student have in common? We travelled together to an orphanage in Henan Province, China, just to play with children for a week.

And play we did! We held babies. We blew bubbles with toddlers. We played the Hokey-Pokey with pre-schoolers. We taught English to older children. We took children on outings. We even had a July 4th party to give the older children an American experience!

Babies were in rows of cribs with 2 babies in each. Many looked frail as they laid there quietly. The caregivers did the best they could, but there were too many children and too few helpers. One baby boy broke out in loud laughter with every touch or bit of attention. We tried to love on every one of them—if only a little.

Most of the school aged children, some as old as 17, have lived in the orphanage all their lives. They live in dormitory-type rooms with bunk beds and no privacy. Some were aloof to us and some curious. Many of them wanted to be with us as much as they could. Most were taking English in school so at least basic communication was possible. They asked questions about America, family, and life. Most of them showed a deep hunger to be loved, if only for a few short days.

Upon leaving the orphanage director said we made the children happy. They made us happy too. But it saddened us to leave them behind. It saddened us to know that most of them would never know the unconditional love of a family. 

The Bible commands us to visit the orphans. Our team found that travelling to China is not a difficult experience. It is a short time when a few children will experience the love of Christ. Won’t you visit the children too?

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Parenting After Infertility - Help for Moms

Meet Kim Conger, founder of Parenting After Infertility Ministries (PAI). PAI is a Christian-based support ministry for those who have suffered through the heartache of infertility and/or loss and are now blessed to be called Mom.

Curious to learn more about PAI, I asked Kim a few questions.

Laura Christianson: You were formerly the General Director of Hannah’s Prayer Ministries. What was the impetus for starting this new ministry?

Kim Conger: As my term was coming to an end as Hannah’s Prayer’s General Director, I began praying for God’s guidance and direction.  Do I volunteer to extend my term for three more years or is it time to go? To my surprise, I felt God calling me away from Hannah’s Prayer. As I continued to pray, I would ask God, “Are You sure?” (Like God needs me questioning Him). He confirmed His desire for me to move on.

Laura: Fertility challenges have played a big part in your own life, haven’t they?

Kim: Yes. I have to chronic health problems, and was unable to carry a baby to term. The risk to me and the baby were significant and my husband, Doug, and I, chose not to take that risk. We are the proud parents of three wonderful children through the loving gift of adoption.

Laura: I know from experience that when you adopt, your infertility issues don’t magically disappear.

Kim: True. My infertility issues were still a big part of my life but my role as Mom to these wonderful blessings God had given me takes precedence over the scars of infertility. My children are older and my own need as a parent was to have a Christian support network for parents after infertility.    

Laura: Many mothers who experience infertility and later give birth to or foster and adopt children often feel they have to be perfect parents.

Kim: Parenting can be rewarding and challenging. We longed for and prayed for these precious children and often feel guilty when we feel tired, cranky, overwhelmed, uncertain and frustrated. We may have innocently voiced our frustration only to hear, “You asked for this” or “I would give anything to be a parent.” We may feel a heavy heart when we experience feelings other than sheer joy!

Laura: I can relate to those feelings!

Kim: Moms need a safe place to talk about their children, their pregnancy, their struggles, etc. without breaking the hearts of those who still have empty arms. They need a safe place to say, “I’m having a really tough day being a mommy” without feeling guilty. A place to be a “normal’ mommy and express the joys and the struggles of mommyhood.

Laura: And PAI offers that “safe place.”

Kim: PAI offers a safe place to share your joy, seek advice, wisdom, encouragement and prayer from other Moms who do understand. While parenting is our main focus, we do offer support when the painful scars of infertility and loss reappear. PAI is for those whose family is complete and for those who long for more.

Laura: Is PAI an online or face-to-face ministry?

Kim: PAI began November 6, 2006 as an online ministry. The following women—most of whom are involved in both Hannah’s Prayer and PAI, volunteer as leaders:

• Tara Mock, Website Admin. 
• Jennifer Stevens, Leader
• Andrea Flannagan, Leader
• Sonia Lee, Leader
• Marla Ayatsuka, Leader
• Julie Cole, Leader
• Suzanne Murray, Chat Room Hostess
• Lori Davis, Leader

Laura: What is the key focus of your ministry?

Kim: Our desire is to love, encourage, support, and pray for moms as they embark or continue on this rewarding journey called “parenting.” We hope to help each other to be the Christ-centered mothers Jesus called us to be.

Through our Community Forums, Parenting After Infertility Ministries offers 24/7 support as well as other helpful resources for various parenting situations, including postpartum or postadoption depression, general depression, pregnancy, prayer support, special needs, single parenting, and chronic health issues.

Laura: Thanks for sharing with us Kim. How can we find Parenting After Infertility Ministries?

Kim: Visit www.parentingafterinfertility.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.