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Gratitude for the Choice of Life

By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist

I’m a mom of five children, but an adoptive mother to one.312644 Russian Baby I didn’t receive much information on my daughter’s birth mother, but I often think about her. I wish to honor her memory and the precious gift bestowed upon me because of her choices.

I imagine that when this young woman discovered she was pregnant, she asked, What do I do? What is the best decision?  

I envision her struggling with intense emotions…she is unmarried, and in Kazakhstan it is considered taboo to bear children out of wedlock…abortion is an option…she eventually makes the first difficult decision.  She chooses life for her unborn child.

On April eleventh, she makes her second difficult decision. She gives birth to a little girl with dark hair, dark eyes, and light brown skin. The baby weighs less than six pounds. This young mother decides to release her little girl for adoption. I believe she would choose to be with her baby forever, but she knows she cannot care for her without a home or job.

As she signs the papers, she takes special note of the butterfly birthmark on her daughter’s face. She knows that mark will allow her to recognize her daughter instantly should their paths ever cross.  

However, this young mother also knows that a family in Kazakhstan is not likely to adopt her baby due to this small imperfection. The thought of never seeing her daughter hurts deeply; nevertheless, she signs the forms to release her baby for adoption.

Ten days later, Aida is brought to the local orphanage where is cared for while her paperwork is processed on the local database. Little Aida waits three months before she is eligible for international adoption. During that time she becomes the favorite of several caretakers and is noted as the most active baby in the nursery.

 With temperatures below twenty degrees and the New Year holidays quickly approaching, my husband and I arrive in Kazakhstan.  We spend two hours with Aida each day for two weeks before we can petition the courts for her adoption. 

It takes forty days from start to finish, but finally she is declared our daughter.  We return to the USA and her four excited siblings, who are instantly enraptured with their baby sister. 

On Aida’s birthday each year, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for the young woman who chose life. I pray for her peace and salvation. Through the sacrifice of this young mother, I have come to understand just how much my Heavenly Father loves me.

What an incredible gift I have been given to be able to be called “Mommy” by Aida. 

Frosty for Foster Kids

Wendy's coupon bookIf you're looking for an alternative to handing out candy to your trick-or-treaters this Halloween, consider purchasing a Trick or Treat Gift Book from Wendy's.

The book costs $1 and contains 10 free Junior Frosty coupons (an $8.90 value).

Proceeds from this fundraising effort help support the Wendy's Wonderful Kids program, which helps move children in U.S. and Canada foster care into permanent adoptive homes.

And the Winners are...

The winners of the Single Sashimi book giveaway contest are: Holly, Doreen, and Lynn.

I'll be contacting you to get your mailing address so Camy Tang can send you your book. Congratulations!

Ah, the Fond Memories of Homecoming

Homecoming 2008Today is Homecoming at my son's high school. He is pumped!  Guess what his school colors are?

Together for Adoption Sponsors Regional Adoption Conferences

My blogging buddy, Dan Cruver, recently launched a new ministry called Together for Adoption (T4A). The group sponsors regional adoption conferences that focus primarily on vertical adoption (i.e., God adopting us in Christ), with a secondary focus on its implications for orphan care and horizontal adoption (i.e., couples adopting children). 

Dan says:

"We believe that these conferences will help serve the church in fulfilling its responsibility to visit orphans in their affliction."


Their first conference will be November 1, 2008 at Southside Fellowship in Greenville, South Carolina. The fee is $20 per single; $30 per couple.

Here's a peek at some of the sessions:

Adoption in God’s Story of Redemption
Dan Cruver (Listen to one of his sermons: From One Generation to Another)

God’s Joy in Adoption
Russell Moore (Listen to one of his sermons: But Are They Brothers? The Spirit of Adoption and the Unity of the Church)

The Good News of Adoption (Ephesians 1-2)
Rick Phillips (Listen to one of his sermons: How Shall We Now Live?)

Adoption and the Multi-Ethnic Family of God (Ephesians 1-2)
Carl Robbins (Listen to one of his sermons: Union with Christ)

Christian Alliance for Orphans
Maridel Sandberg, Alliance President and Director of MICAH Fund (Maridel will present the Alliance’s vision for orphan ministry)

Our Adoption and Visiting Orphans in Their Affliction (Romans 8:22-23) 
Tullian Tchividjian (Josh Harris interviews Tullian about his book Do I know God? -Listen to one of his sermons: What the World Needs from the Church)

To learn more about the conference and order tickets, visit T4A

Author Camy Tang Discusses Adoption

In yesterday’s post, I introduced you to my author friend, Camy Tang, a “loud Asian chick who writes loud Asian chick lit.”

Camy writes romance with a kick of wasabi. She used to be a biologist, but now she is a staff worker for her church youth group and leads a worship team for Sunday service. She also runs the Story Sensei fiction critique service. On her blog, she gives away Christian novels every Monday and Thursday, and she ponders frivolous things like dumb dogs (namely, hers), coffee-geek husbands (no resemblance to her own...), the writing journey, Asiana, and anything else Camy Tang that comes to mind.

Camy and I chatted about adoption, racism, and Christian fiction:

Laura: You and your husband are thinking about starting a family. Have you considered adopting? Why or why not?

Camy: Actually, we have considered adoption. My husband and I have worked with our church youth group for years and are open to adopting an older child, although we’re still in prayer about it.

We’ve also discussed adopting from China.

Laura: Since you’re Asian-American, would you prefer to adopt an Asian child? Or are you open to adopting a child of any racial/ethnic background?

Camy: I personally would like to adopt a little girl from China because we could raise her in a Chinese American household and help her understand the variety and riches of her racial background.

Laura: Have you faced any overt or subtle racism? If so, can you give us an example of how you dealt with it?

Camy: Actually, I have been very lucky because I haven’t experienced much racism at all. I grew up in Hawaii, where the majority ethnicity is Asian, and in moving to northern California, I’m still surrounded by Asians since there is a large Asian population here.

I think the only “racism” I’ve encountered personally have been a few Caucasian guys with Asian fetishes who visited my church when I was still single and who targeted all the Asian girls.

Laura: What inspired you to write Asian American chick-lit from a Christian perspective?

Camy: I love Christian fiction, but noticed there just weren’t many Christian novels about Asians, and there weren’t ANY Christian novels about Asian Americans (very different from Asians in, say, China) or any Christian novels written by Asians.

Since I’ve pretty much grown up in the Asian American culture, I wanted to write something that might be interesting and unique to Christians growing up in other ethnic American households.

I also tend more toward humor than women’s fiction or historical novels (anyone who visits my blog regularly knows I’m very silly and irreverent), so I naturally gravitated toward chick lit.

Laura: Do you base your characters on real people/situations? Where does “fact” stop and “fiction” take over?

My characters are mostly fiction. I try really, really hard not to base any characters’ personalities off of people in real life. In my opinion, that’s just not polite.

However, peripherals like a character’s occupation or maybe a character’s unique quirk of behavior will sometimes come from real life stories I hear.

Laura: Tell us a little about your upcoming books.

SingleSashimi_w Camy: The novel that just released is Single Sashimi, the third book in the Sushi series. Here’s a blurb:

Drake Yu. Why would Drake call her after … what, five years? Six?

Venus heard in his voice that resonance that was almost a growl, that titanium-hard determination to get what he wanted. And he usually got what he wanted. The voice said: “I want you to work for me.”

Not this time… If it was a choice between Drake and McDonald’s—she’d choose french fries. She’d never work for him again. It would take an act of God.

Venus Chau is determined to start her own game development company and launch the next Super Mario-sized phenomenon. However, she needs an investor to back her idea. When Drake Yu, an old nemesis, approaches Venus with a contracting opportunity at his sister’s startup, the offer to become Chief Operating Officer tempts Venus to think the unthinkable.

Venus would rather throw away her PS3 than work for Drake again … except Grandma bribes Venus to do this favor for Drake’s wealthy family with a coveted introduction to the most respected investor in the game industry. It’s also a short job—only a few months—so Venus won’t have to stand Drake’s presence for very long.

But one wild youth group, a two-faced assistant, and Grandma’s determined match-making threaten to make them both fail—or go insane. With the encouragement of her three cousins, Lex, Trish, and Jennifer, Venus discovers that even a wounded heart can undergo a beautiful transformation …

My next novel is a Christian romantic suspense titled Deadly Intent, coming out in August 2009 (tentative date) from Steeple Hill’s Love Inspired Suspense line.

This may not be the actual back cover blurb, but here’s a blurb I submitted recently in my Art Fact Sheet:

THERE WAS A DEAD BODY IN HER MASSAGE ROOM

And massage therapist Naomi Grant is suspected of murder. She’s frustrated and helpless as a web of lies closes in around her, framing her. She doesn’t have time to worry about her shaky faith or think about her growing attraction to the victim’s ex-husband, Dr. Devon Knightley.

Orthopedic surgeon Devon had only needed to claim his mother’s necklace back from his ex-wife, but suddenly he’s embroiled in a murder investigation and someone is trying to kill him. He wants to somehow protect Naomi from the trap being set around her, but can he keep them both safe against a villain with deadly intent?


Laura: Your Sushi series books focus on four cousins. Will there be a fourth book in the series?

Camy: There will be a fourth book in the Sushi series. It will be a novella and I’ll have it available FREE for my newsletter YahooGroup subscribers (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Camys_Loft) or as a print on demand book available for purchase on Amazon.

Laura: What’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day in Silicon Valley?

Walk the dog! We live right next to the rolling foothills and it’s really nice to go walking. My only problem is that my dog is not good around other dogs (she’s really friendly with people, though). So I have to be careful when she encounters other dogs on her walks.

I'm giving away THREE copies of Camy's latest novel, Single Sashimi, this week. All you have to do is post a comment on this post (or on the previous post). Tell us why you love/hate chick lit, Christian fiction, or sushi. Or ask Camy a question. I’ll announce the winners on October 21, 2008.

Visit Camy’s website at www.camytang.com/ for a huge website contest going on right now. Camy's giving away ten boxes of books and 30 copies of her latest release, SINGLE SASHIMI.

Meet Camy Tang, a Loud Asian Chick

Camy Tang Camy Tang is a self-described “loud Asian chick who writes loud Asian chick lit.”

I am…well…a quiet Caucasian chick who writes about adoption. Still, when Camy and I met at a writers’ conference a couple of years ago, we hit it off famously and vowed that we are kindred blogging spirits. Just for fun, we decided to make guest appearances on each other’s blogs.

I was thrilled when, a couple of weeks ago, I heard that Camy’s first novel, Sushi for One?, won first place in the Debut Author category of the 2008 American Christian Fiction Writers Book of the Year contest. (Try saying that three times, fast!)

Camy was thrilled, too. She told me, “I was so excited at the awards ceremony that I screamed like a banshee and said something really stupid for my thank you speech.”

I recently gobbled up the first two novels in Camy’s Sushi Series:  Sushi for One? and Only Uni  (the third book, Single Sashimi, was released in August).

SingleSashimi_w For years, I avoided reading Christian fiction because it was too sickly-sweet, too predictable, and the characters were just too darn wholesome. But when I started making friends with Christian novelists, I figured I’d better at least give their work a look-see.

It has been so refreshing to read—and enjoy—this unique new voice in Christian fiction. In the Sushi Series, Camy creates four single, 20-something Asian-American cousins who belong to a large extended family dominated by a manipulative grandma whose goal in life is to marry off her granddaughters.

Each book in the series focuses on a different cousin. In Sushi for One?, we meet Lex Sakai,  a spunky, volleyball-playing athlete who has compiled a huge list of traits Mr. Right must fulfill. Only problem is, all of the guys she dates are Mr. Wrong.

In Only Uni, we learn more about Lex’s cousin Trish Sakai, a flirt who has done more than her share of sleeping around, and is now attempting—rather unsuccessfully—to make amends for her wild lifestyle. Turning her life around is complicated by the fact that her gorgeous ex-boyfriend is stalking her.

I love the characters’ snappy banter, flawed relationships with one another (and with the various men they date), and their struggles to discern what God wants for them. I appreciate the way Camy gives us glimpses into Asian-American culture and into a tightly-knit extended family. Unlike most chick-lit, where you know how the story will end after the first page, I was surprised by the plot twists and turns, particularly in Only Uni.

If you want a refreshing change from the lusty, foul-mouthed, Prada-wearing heroines that populate most chick-lit novels, give Camy’s books a try. You won’t be sorry.

Camy has graciously agreed to give away copies of Single Sashimi to THREE readers of my blog! To enter the giveaway, simply post a comment below this entry. If you want, tell us why you love/hate chick lit, Christian fiction, or sushi. Or ask Camy a question. I’ll announce the winners on October 20, 2008.

Tomorrow, I’ll feature an interview with Camy Tang. You can visit Camy at www.camytang.com or stop by her blog, Camy's Loft.

30 Ways to Celebrate National Adoption Month

Fireworks at Epcot This November, people all over the U.S. will be celebrating National Adoption Month.

How do you plan to celebrate in your family or community?


E-mail
me your response; the November issue of Adoption World e-zine will feature 30 ways to make each day of National Adoption Month special. I've got a special adoption book giveaway planned; stay tuned for details.

If you’re not an Adoption World subscriber yet and want to read about how to blog your adoption journey (October issue), just sign up via the form at the top of this blog, or send a blank e-mail to adoptionworld@aweber.com. Your October issue will be delivered to your Inbox within the week.

10 Things You Need to Know Before Adopting from China

Want to win copies of my books the easy way?  Chinese baby

Head over to Camy's Loft. My author friend, Camy Tang, is giving away The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting and The Adoption Network: Your Guide to Starting a Support System on her blog this week.

To enter, comment on the blog post that features my books and tell Camy you want to enter. She'll select the winner Thursday, Oct 16.

Camy and her hubby are thinking about adopting from China, so I sent her a list: "10 Things Camy Needs to Know Before Adopting from China."

First item on the list:

  1. Adopting means choosing to love a child with whom you are not genetically connected, and affirming your child’s uniqueness.

Read the post at Camy's Loft for the other 9 items, and a fun question about naming your child.

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    Adoption Blogs

    • A Little Pregnant
      You want blogs? Julie's got blogs for you. Check out her "somewhat haphazard collection of links" to blogs pertaining to infertility, adoption, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and being a parent. You won't be disappointed.
    • About Adoption/Foster Care
      Written by Carrie Craft, this informative blog at about.com offers a variety of interesting tidbits about adoption and foster care.
    • Adopt Taiwan
      By Cindy, a Christian mom-to-be who is waiting to adopt from Taiwan.
    • Adoption Adventure
      Lena Wright, a certified professional coach and Christian counselor, is adopting two brothers from Haiti.
    • Adoption Family
      Hot links to hundreds of adoption websites, organized by topic.
    • Adoption Options Web Directory & Resources
      Free adoption articles to acquaint people with their options, as well as links to other quality adoption sites.
    • Adoption Share
      An online community where you can share experiences, find answers and purchase resources related to adoption.
    • Adoption.org Blogs
      The comprehensive adoption web site, adoption.org, recommends a few adoption blogs and has a discussion board.
    • AdoptLove
      A couple's journey to adopt a child from Ukraine.
    • Adventures in Daily Living
      Jamie and Suzanne's adventures with their adopted children from Russia.
    • And Chloe Makes 6
      By Becky, mother of four, and waiting for #5 to come home from China.
    • Anonymous Daughter
      By an adult adopted person whose biological father contacted her.
    • Big Momma Hollers
      By Cindy Bodie, a 51-year-old happily single mother of 39 kids ages 3-32.
    • Blogging Baby
      A blog about pregnancy, baby care and parenting. Some adoption issues covered. Entertaining and informative -- one of my faves.
    • Chronicles of Mommyhood
      Written by an African American mom from Pennsylvania who loves to share stories and resources with other African American families who are seeking to adopt. You can read about their adoption adventure in their first blog: http://cleandsylsjourney.blogspot.com/.
    • Crowned with Laurel
      By Esther, who has experienced two failed adoptions from Russia and is now embarking on adopting from a different country.
    • Do They Have Salsa in China?
      Gotta love the title of this blog! You can probably figure out what it's about.
    • Embracing the Journey to my Daughter and Beyond
      By Billie, who's recording her feelings about adopting her daughter from Taiwan as a gift to her daughter.
    • Families.com Adoption Blog
      A group blog written by an adult adopted person and several adoptive parents.
    • Family Building: From Where I Sit
      Cynthia Peck writes this informative blog, which covers many aspects of family building, from assisted reproductive technology to adoption to long-term foster care.
    • Fat Girl's Guide to Triathalons
      Candid comments about the home study process from a mom who's waiting to adopt.
    • Finding Sweetness
      By Kristin, who's waiting to adopt a baby from Vietnam.
    • Foster Care & Adoption Author's Site
      Okay, it's not a blog; it's Jayne Schooler's author website. Jayne is well-known for supporting, educating and encouraging families formed by birth, adoption or foster care.
    • From Hope to Reality
      The blog of Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency. Lots of in depth discussions and interviews about adoption issues.
    • Hand Picked
      Written by a couple who is waiting to adopt a son from Korea.
    • Heartprints
      Sharon Brani, an adoption coach and counselor, offers encouragement and inspiration for adoptive parents.
    • Heidi's Hotline
      Reflections about adoption and about writing from Heidi Saxton, an adoptive mom of two former foster children and editor of a magazine for Catholic "Women of Grace," www.womenofgrace.com.
    • His Heart
      By Erin, a Christian woman who has experienced infertility for 9 of her 11 years of marriage, and is moving towards adoption.
    • His Heart for Orphans
      This ministry of Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, LA, supports families during their pre-adoption journey.
    • Hydrangeas are pretty
      Pre-adoptive mom Shelli writes this blog about waiting to adopt domestically.
    • International Adoption Stories
      An adoption directory featuring international adoption information and agency advice from Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Guatemala, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Vietnam, Haiti, Mexico, Ethiopia and other counties. In addition to stories, the site includes information on adoption costs and financing, medical and health advice, parenting tips and news.
    • It's A Girl!
      The Seyler family writes about raising their special needs daughter adopted from Ukraine.
    • Jochebed's Hope
      A non-profit ministry aimed at promoting the Biblical foundation for adoption.
    • Just Enjoy Him: Ramblings of a Mid-Life Mom
      By Judy, a 45-year-old mom of a 5-year-old son born in Vietnam.
    • Lifemothers.com
      Although it's not a blog, this Web site for birth mothers is excellent. With the belief that a birthmother's role does not end at 'birth,' but continues for life, Lifemothers strives to be a safe haven for all Lifemoms, regardless of age or contact with child.
    • Links to Adoption Sites
      Links to adoption agencies, books, blogs, and personal sites.
    • Martha's Voice on Adoption
      Adoption info and commentary from Martha Osborne, editor of RainbowKids.com International Adoption E-Zine.
    • Mommy Monsters
      Heidi Saxton, columnist for CatholicMom.com, writes smart, refreshing posts about adoptive parenthood (among other things).
    • My Adoption Links
      A self-described "obsessive person collecting adoption links." Organized alphabetically.
    • Neither Here Nor There
      Written by The Passionate Peach, a 30-something reluctant adoptee who has been reunited with her birth family for over two decades.
    • Our Adoption Journey
      By Todd and Kimberly Phillips, who are waiting to adopt a special needs child from China.
    • Our Adoption Journey
      By a couple who is adopting from foster care.
    • Pamela Kruger
      A blog about motherhood, marriage, work, and life in suburbia by a mom who adopted from Kazakhstan.
    • Paradise Preoccupied
      Written by adoption advocate Sandra Hanks Benoiton, this blog is a cool combo of news tidbits and edgy commentary.
    • RainbowKids Blog Community
      Blogs from families who have adopted or are adopting internationally.
    • Red Lights
      Written by Monica, a single mom from Alberta, Canada who adopted a son with Down syndrome. Gorgeous design; interesting read -- don't miss this blog!
    • Red Thread Dads
      Jack Bailey, a dad-to-be who created his blog for to-be-dads, dads who have already adopted, and even those who are contemplating the idea of Chinese adoption. Not updated often, but then, he's probably busy getting ready to bring his daughter home.
    • Research-China.Org
      To educate adoptive parents about Chinese culture, China adoptions and aspects of a child's early life in China.
    • Ryan J Hale
      Ryan is a foster dad who reflects on his upcoming adoption from China. His entries are from a Christian worldview.
    • Stuart & Liz's Adoption Blog
      The highs and lows of one couple's journey through the UK adoption process.
    • The Adoption Choice
      A forum to help pregnant women and teens considering adoption.
    • The Chambers' Adoption Process
      By Brit and Heath, who are waiting to adopt domestically (U.S.)
    • The Life of a Texas Mom
      Gwen is a Christian adoptive mom of three who regularly shares bits of her adoption story.
    • The Seventh Diamond
      Kimberley Girvin and her husband prepare for the arrival of their family's seventh member, a daughter from China.
    • Third Mom
      A thoughtful, well-written blog by Margie Perscheid, mom of two Korean teens, wife of 30+ years, and Korean adoption activist.
    • This Woman's Work
      Dawn Friedman, an associate editor at epregnancy magazine, writes this blog about writing, mothering, and writing about mothering. Includes reflections on adoption.
    • Ukraine Adoption Journal
      Steven Harper Pizik chronicles his family's journal to adopt two boys from Ukraine.
    • Waiting for Mercy
      By Michelle, a mom of four boys who is waiting to adopt a little girl from Guatemala.
    • Writer's Wanderings
      Freelance writer, Karen Robbins, is also an adoptive mom. Her blog contains "musings along life's journey."