Guest Column: The Joys of Parenting Again
By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist
Choices. We make them every day. Most have little impact upon the destiny of our lives, but some significantly alter our lives forever.
The decision my husband and I made to adopt our daughter was one of those choices in my life. As a mother of four ranging in ages from 12 to 19, the option to restart our family brought obvious modifications to my lifestyle.
My daily routine once again involved diapers, bottles, bibs, and eventually potty training. Every trip from the house meant carting along the paraphernalia for caring for a little one or finding a sitter for that cherished alone time. A trip to the theater with a toddler must include popcorn to make it through the entire movie. A meal at a restaurant means high chairs, cups with lids, and an examination of the restroom facilities.
Learning from experience
However, with this choice also comes a chance to discover whether I had learned anything from my previous parenting mistakes. What techniques would I use this time to feed my fussy eater? How would I deal with sleeping issues? What action would I take when she broke into a temper tantrum in the grocery store after receiving a “no”?
I believed I would be wiser, and was shocked to realize how easy it was for me to cave in to my toddler’s loud outbursts in order to regain my peaceful atmosphere. It quickly dawned on me that this wasn’t going to be any easier the second time around. I still had a lot to learn, but was fortunate to have a husband who was stronger than me in this area. He said “no” and stuck to it, and she survived.
Remembering how quickly the years had passed, I did find that with a baby in my life, my world was filled with uninhibited cuddles, kisses, and hugs again. What a joy it has been to watch a shy, reserved infant blossom into a bubbling, outgoing toddler.
How special to have your child, who did not even understand your language, look at you and say, “Mommy, may I ask you a question?”
When I nod “yes,” she says, “I love you, Mommy? Now you ask.”
In Part 2 of this article, Beckie will explain the fear she had about whether she’d be able to love her adopted daughter as much as she loves her biological children.
Beckie and her pastor husband, Joe, have 4 biological children and 1 adopted from Kazakhstan. They have been married 23 years and have been serving the Lord in Delavan, Illinois for the last 6 ½ years. You can e-mail Beckie: beckiejoe@gmail.com
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