Exploring Adoption

Thanks for Purchasing 'The Adoption Decision'

Thanks to the many of you who purchased a copy of The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting from Amazon during my anniversary sale.

Your free copy of The Adoption Network: Your Guide to Starting a Support System is in the mail! Here's a photo of me packing up some of the orders before heading to the Post Office.

Will Your Child Be A Better Parent Than You?

“Mom, remember that obnoxious third grader who was running around the waiting room at the doctor’s office the other day, screaming his head off?”

How could I forget? “Yeah. What about him?”

“He’s one of our neighbors.”

Oh, joy.

My 12-year-old son squinted out our kitchen window through the soft Seattle drizzle. “I see that kid. And he’s standing on the roof of his house… Now he’s jumping off the roof. That kid just jumped off his roof!”

“What?” Startled, I joined my son at the window. “That roof is at least nine feet high!”

We peered across our backyard and into the neighbor’s front yard. Our jaws dropped when, a couple minutes later, an ambulance pulled up. They loaded an adult (not the jumper) into the ambulance (perhaps the kid’s mom had a heart attack when she discovered her son had been playing on the roof during a rainstorm).

My son, ever the philosopher, commented, “When I’m a parent, there’s NO WAY I will let my kids play on the roof.”

“I’m glad to hear that. A big part of a parent’s job is to try to protect his children. I’m sure you’ll be a great dad someday.”

My son nodded. “No offense, Mom, but I’ve watched you and Dad, and I’m learning from the—er—mistakes you make. That way, I won’t make the same mistakes when I’m a Dad.”

Humbling parental moment!

I smiled (with some chagrin), and replied, “Yep, we do make a lot of mistakes. One of my prayers for you is that you will learn from our mistakes and be a better parent than I am. My hope is that each generation does a better job parenting than the previous one.”

My son nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to be a good parent. And when my son turns 16, I’m going to give him up for adoption.”

My eyes narrowed as my head snapped his direction.

With a quick giggle, my son added, “Heh heh; just kidding.”  (he has a 16-year-old brother)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

Check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Create your own E-newsletters and e-mail templates

1-Day Sale: Buy 'The Adoption Decision', Get 'The Adoption Network' Free

I've been enjoying my summer, spending lots of time with my family on camping trips. Thus, the lack of blog posts.

To celebrate my wedding anniversary, I'm having a 1-day book bash on August 21. 

Here's how it works:

1.  Buy The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting on Amazon.com.

2.  Send me your Amazon proof-of-purchase, dated August 21, 2008, and your mailing address.

3.  I'll mail you an autographed copy of The Adoption Network: Your Guide to Starting a Support System, absolutely free!

This is a $10 value, plus I pay the shipping on The Adoption Network.

Is there a catch?

Nope. Dozens of people who have received free books from me during my periodic specials will attest to the fact that I'll send your free book promptly, and I won't hassle you with a bunch of unsolicited emails.

Both my books have a 5-star rating from Amazon reviewers.

Tell everybody about this special, 1-day offer, so they can stock up on free books:

• Tell your adoption agency, social worker, or attorney.
• Tell others you know who are considering adopting.
• Tell your clergyperson...these books give any church that's considering starting an adoption ministry a jump-start.
• Tell people who are looking for a gift to buy you.

Please place the One Day Sale Ad on your own blog or Website, or to link/trackback to this post. If you have an Amazon Associates account and people buy The Adoption Decision from your Associates link, you'll earn up to 15% in referral fees for books you sell on Amazon!

To copy the ad:

1. Right click on the ad in the upper right corner of this post, and choose "Save Image As."
2. Save it to your hard drive or storage device.
3. Insert the image into your own blog post.

Where to send your Amazon proof-of-purchase:

E-mail it to me (or send it as an attachment) with "1-Day Sale" in the Subject line: laurachristianson@hotmail.com.

OR

Send it via snail mail to Laura Christianson, PO Box 1254, Snohomish, WA 98291-1254. I'll honor any Amazon proof-of-purchase for The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting dated 8-21-08, as long as I receive it by 8-31-08.

Hope you enjoy your new books and please, write and tell me what you think of them.

Summer Travels and TV Interviews

My family and I have been having a wonderful summer, doing a lot of traveling and "camping" in our vacation home on wheels -- our 29' travel trailer.

We were parked at a supermarket in Tillamook, Oregon, when a man approached our pickup and snapped a picture of it. I rolled down my window and asked, "Why are you taking a picture of my truck?"

In a charming accent, he answered, "I'm from Austria. I have never seen a truck this long before."

During the past month, we've:

• Attended our niece's wedding in Vancouver, Washington
• Camped at Birch Bay State Park, Washington
• Camped at Pacific Beach State Park, Washington
• Sent our 16-year-old son to basketball camp at Gonzaga University in Spokane, Washington
• Camped at Confluence State Park in Wenatchee, Washington
• Attended Creation 2008, where we enjoyed concerts by Jeremy Camp, Switchfoot, Skillet, and TobyMac
• Played tourist in Chicago (why has no one told me that Chicago is such a great city for tourists? We loved it!)
• Toured Notre Dame University in Notre Dame, Indiana (it's not actually in South Bend, as we had assumed)
• Was a guest on The Harvest Show, a Christian talk show based in South Bend
• Attended a family reunion at Fort Stevens State Park, Oregon
• Camped at Fort Stevens and Beverly Beach State Parks, Oregon coast
• Toured the Tillamook Cheese Factory in Tillamook, Oregon and had some delicious ice cream cones
• Attended the Clark County Fair in Vancouver, WA with some Christianson cousins
• Camped at Seaquest State Park, Washington and visited Mt. St. Helens National Volcanic Monument

Now we're home. Whew. I'm getting caught up on work and we're preparing for back-to-school. Of course, our kids have grown out of every stitch of their clothing, so a trip to the mall is in order.

On my blog at HeBlogsSheBlogs.com, I've been writing about the experience of being interviewed on a TV talk show. While I was on The Harvest Show, I talked about creating an adoption support network, and a few other adoption-related issues. My segment is 16 minutes or so into the show that aired August 7. Hope you'll watch it and send me your critiques!

------------------------------------------------------------

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Create your own E-newsletters and e-mail templates

Survey Says: Men Twice as Likely to Adopt

U.S. men aged 18-44 years are more than twice as likely as women of the same age group to have adopted a child, according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS).

The data come from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth, conducted by NCHS. Some of the findings in the report includes:

• Among ever-married persons, men were more than 2.5 times as likely as women to have adopted -- 3.8 percent compared with 1.4 percent.
• Overall, 2.3 percent of all men had ever adopted a child, compared with 1.1 percent of women. This equates to nearly 1.3 million men and 613,000 women. Though the new report does not provide conclusive data as to why more men adopt than women, the author of the study points out that the reasons are likely related to the fact that there are greater opportunities for men to adopt their stepchildren than for women, mainly because of post-divorce living arrangements.
• Over one in four women aged 40-44 years who had ever used infertility services had adopted a child.
• Though never-married adults aged 18-44 years were significantly less likely to have adopted a child compared with those who were currently married, approximately 100,000 never-married women and 73,000 never-married men had adopted a child.
• Hispanic and non-Hispanic black women were more likely to be currently seeking to adopt a child, compared with non-Hispanic white women.

Source:
Adoption Experiences of Women and Men and Demand for Children to Adopt by Women 18-44 Years of Age in the United States, 2002. Series 23, Number 27. 45 pp.  CDC National Center for Health Statistics, Office of Communication (301) 458-4800
E-mail: nchsquery@cdc.gov

-----------------------------------------------------------

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Create your own E-newsletters and e-mail templates

6 Ways for Birth Moms to Cope with Post-Visit Blues in Open Adoption

By Coley Strickland
Guest Columnist

Coley is a birth mom and co-founder of BirthMom Buds.

While I treasure the visits I am able to have with Charlie, my birthson, through open adoption sometimes after a visit, I feel a sense of sadness and "let down." I've nicknamed these feelings "the post-visit blues."

I've also talked with other birthmothers in open adoptions who have shared with me that they too have the post-visit blues after a visit. Since I have been dealing with this for six years now, I have come up with some methods of coping that work for me and perhaps they will work for you, too.

1. Acknowledge the feelings. It's important that I acknowledge the feelings I am experiencing and allow myself to feel them. I have learned the hard way that if I don't acknowledge the feelings now it will only hurt me more in the long run.
2. Write a letter. A few days after a visit, I always write a letter to Charlie. I tell him how much the visit meant to me, I recap things that went on during the visit, and I include pictures from the visit. Mailing the letter is optional. If you didn't want to mail it, you could put them all in a box to share with your child one day.
3. Scrapbook. I actually haven't done this in one in awhile but am already sketching out layouts from my last visit in my head. Scrapbooking our time together makes me feel good and gives me an easy way to look back at good memories when I want to.
4. Journal. I recap the visit for myself in my journal writing down what we did, cute things Charlie said, etc. Then as I feel sadness over the next few days, I write about those feelings.
5. Try not to isolate myself. This is the one I personally struggle with. When I am dealing with my emotions after a visit and feeling down, I tend to want to be myself, turn off my phone, and crawl in a hole. While this can be good for me for a little bit, it also could quickly become unhealthy so I usually have to force myself not to hide out.
6. Talk with other birthmothers. No one quite understands what I am feeling besides other birthmothers so when I am dealing with sadness after a visit, I turn to my birthmother friends for support and understanding.

Reprinted with permission from the author. This article was originally published in BirthMom Buds Bulletin, August 2008

Can I Love My Adopted Child as Much as My Birth Children?

In Part 1, guest columnist Beckie Stewart, a mother of four children ranging in age from 12-19, explained how her life turned topsy-turvy when she added an adopted infant to the mix.

By Beckie Stewart

One of the biggest issues I struggled with prior to adoption was the fear that I may not love my adopted child as much as my biological children. I found myself unable to share this fear with anyone but the Lord. It was discussed in some books and magazines, but not a lot.

After months of collecting all the necessary paperwork and waiting for information on an available child for us to adopt, we received a picture and short biography about a little girl from Kazakhstan, who was waiting for a forever family. The moment her picture came up on my computer, my heart pounded with excitement. I found my feelings for her were just like the day I gave birth to my other children. I knew I would sacrifice my life for this child.

That realization helped me understand how much my Heavenly Father loved me when He adopted me into His family. I can now confidently say, like Paul did in Romans 8:38-39, that I am absolutely persuaded that nothing can separate me from the love that the Father has for me.

It does not matter whether my daughter was born from my womb or not. She is my daughter, and I am her mother. Biological or adoption, being a mommy to a child is born in the heart, not in the belly.

The Lord is using this child to solidify in my heart what it truly means to love my children and to be loved by Him.

Beckie and her pastor husband, Joe, have 4 biological children and 1 adopted from Kazakhstan. They have been married 23 years and have been serving the Lord in Delavan, Illinois for the last 6 ½ years. E-mail Becky at beckiejoe@gmail.com.
-------------------------------------------------

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Create your own E-newsletters and e-mail templates

Guest Column: The Joys of Parenting Again

By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist

Choices. We make them every day. Most have little impact upon the destiny of our lives, but some significantly alter our lives forever.

The decision my husband and I made to adopt our daughter was one of those choices in my life. As a mother of four ranging in ages from 12 to 19, the option to restart our family brought obvious modifications to my lifestyle.

My daily routine once again involved diapers, bottles, bibs, and eventually potty training. Every trip from the house meant carting along the paraphernalia for caring for a little one or finding a sitter for that cherished alone time. A trip to the theater with a toddler must include popcorn to make it through the entire movie. A meal at a restaurant means high chairs, cups with lids, and an examination of the restroom facilities.

Learning from experience

However, with this choice also comes a chance to discover whether I had learned anything from my previous parenting mistakes. What techniques would I use this time to feed my fussy eater? How would I deal with sleeping issues? What action would I take when she broke into a temper tantrum in the grocery store after receiving a “no”? 

I believed I would be wiser, and was shocked to realize how easy it was for me to cave in to my toddler’s loud outbursts in order to regain my peaceful atmosphere. It quickly dawned on me that this wasn’t going to be any easier the second time around. I still had a lot to learn, but was fortunate to have a husband who was stronger than me in this area. He said “no” and stuck to it, and she survived.

Remembering how quickly the years had passed, I did find that with a baby in my life, my world was filled with uninhibited cuddles, kisses, and hugs again. What a joy it has been to watch a shy, reserved infant blossom into a bubbling, outgoing toddler.

How special to have your child, who did not even understand your language, look at you and say, “Mommy, may I ask you a question?” 

When I nod “yes,” she says, “I love you, Mommy? Now you ask.”

In Part 2 of this article, Beckie will explain the fear she had about whether she’d be able to love her adopted daughter as much as she loves her biological children.

Beckie and her pastor husband, Joe, have 4 biological children and 1 adopted from Kazakhstan. They have been married 23 years and have been serving the Lord in Delavan, Illinois for the last 6 ½ years. You can e-mail Beckie: beckiejoe@gmail.com
----------------------------------------------

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Create your own E-newsletters and e-mail templates

Powered by Stuff-a-Blog