Exploring Adoption

On Labeling Children 'Adopted'

Guest Column - This column is reprinted with permission from Mom•Logic.com.

Last month, the 5-year-old daughter of Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman died in a tragic car accident. The reports of Maria Chapman's death saddened me, not only for the loss of this beautiful little girl, but also because of the adjective most frequently used to describe her: ‘adopted.’ I understand why people feel compelled to use this term, but I speak for many adoptive parents when I say I wish that they didn't.

The instinct to describe Maria as the ‘adopted daughter’ of Steven and Mary Beth Chapman (instead of just ‘the daughter’) demonstrates that despite its increasing prevalence, adoption is still a mixed signifier: Parents who adopt are ‘heroic’ and ‘courageous,’ while the children that they bring into their homes are ‘lucky’ and ‘fortunate.’

Until you have been touched by adoption, you do not realize that it's the other way around. For this reason, I find it strange and unfortunate that the first adjective that comes to many people's minds when describing a child born in China, Russia, Guatemala or Taiwan is ‘adopted.’ Most of us don't think twice about describing our neighbors' son as ‘Jim and Pam's adopted son from Guatemala,’ but we would never in million years describe another friend's daughter as ‘Allison, who was conceived in her parent's bedroom.’ How a child enters into a family is irrelevant. What is important is that he/she is there.

Persistent use of the term demonstrates that for most population, there is an important difference between ‘adopted’ and ‘biological’ child. The difference is, in part, superficial -- based on skin color or nationality. But there's also something else that is deeper and more insidious: The notion that a parent can't fully love someone who doesn't share half of his or her DNA. I wonder how these people feel about their spouses.

MomLogic.com is an online community "for thinking moms who don't have time to think."  In addition to posting topical, entertaining and relevant stories, the site features breaking news and how it affects the lives of mothers and their families in an ever-changing world. MomLogic.com is produced by Telepictures Productions, an industry-leading producer of syndicated programming and winner of 49 Daytime Emmy Awards. 

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Orphan Care Foundations

Cynthia Peck, who writes the blog, "Family Building: From Where I Sit,"  recommended a couple of orphan care programs, started by retired founders of their own international adoption programs.

Cynthia writes:

"My special interest in these two programs stems from the fact that international adoption agency bashing as “big business” is a favorite occupation of the media today. In my experience, responsible agencies that have been around for a while are inspirationally dedicated to giving back to children for whom international adoption--which is available only to a tiny percent of the world’s orphaned population--is only a dream.

The Degenhardt Foundation
www.degenhardtfoundation.org/index.html

Dawn Degenhardt has been dedicated to bringing children and families together through adoption for more than 30 years. While living in Cleveland, Ohio, she co-founded the Ohio chapter of COAC (Council on Adoptable Children) and was a pioneer in changing the foster care/adoption system.

Dawn also co-founded Spaulding of Beechbrook, which is still in existence today placing special needs children. After moving back to her home state of Maine, she founded an internationally recognized adoption agency, which has placed more than 4,000 children. Dawn's concern for children still in orphanages around the world prompted the development of many humanitarian aid projects.

Wanting to devote her energy to this issue after retirement, Dawn, with family and friends, created The Degenhardt Foundation. Dawn and her husband Ed are the parents of nine adopted children, now grown with their own families.  

The foundation's current focus is on humanitarian aid projects in Vietnam.

Alliance for Children Foundation
www.afcfoundation.org

The Alliance for Children Foundation is an international relief organization dedicated to improving the physical and emotional well being of abandoned children living in orphanages in Asia, Eastern Europe and Latin America.

Started four years ago by Filis Casey (founder of Alliance for Children in Waltham, MA). the Foundation's projects in medical care, basic needs, and education seek to heal, strengthen and empower the world's most vulnerable children, especially those who are less likely to be adopted due to age or special needs.

One of their most significant efforts has been the establishment of villages for foster parents who are trained and paid to provide care of up to 6 children with disabilities. Filis Casey developed this program as a joint venture with officials in several provinces who contribute the ongoing supervision of the families.

Other posts in the Orphan Care series:

• 7 Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted
  
• Orphan Care Organizations
• Orphan Care Organization: SOS Children
  
• What It's Like to Participate in an Orphan Hosting Program
  
• Orphan Hosting Programs: New Horizons for Children
• Orphan Hosting Programs: The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project
• Cultural Programs for Adopting Russian Orphans
• Pros and Cons of Hosting Programs for Soviet Bloc Orphans
• The Foundation for Orphans - links to many orphan hosting programs

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

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Adoption Picture Book: 'Letter of Love from China'

Most picture books about adoption are told from the perspective of the adoptive parent, Letter of Love from China is narrated from the perspective of a birth mother.

Geared for children ages 4-8, this book helps girls adopted from China understand some of the reasons why their birth family may have relinquished them. The narrative explains (in an age-appropriate manner) China’s one-child policy and the poverty many villagers experience.

The story provides glimpses into the heart of a birth mother who loves her child and seeks to give her child a chance “to live a better life.” The narrative begins with the birth of the child and traces the birth mother’s journey to a children’s home in a nearby city, where she leaves her daughter, in hopes that a family from another country will adopt her.

The second half of the book introduces the adopted child to the land of her birth, sharing details about China’s natural beauty and its important holidays and festivals.

The story concludes by assuring the reader that her birth mother in China thinks of her daily, loves her, and will never forget her.

Letter of Love from China, by Bonnie Cuzzolino (adoptive mom)
Illustrated by Jax Bennett

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Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

It's Father's Day Frosty Weekend at Wendy's

Bring Dad to Wendy's this weekend and buy him a Frosty. For every Frosty sold June 14 and 15 (at participating locations), Wendy's will donate 50 cents to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, a non-profit charity devoted to increasing the number of adoptions from U.S. foster care.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Tom Davis: Father to the Fatherless

After you die, how do you want to be remembered?

Tom Davis already knows his answer.

"I want to be remembered as a committed husband and father, and as a man who was an advocate for the fatherless—who did something to help the poorest of the poor."

Tom, who's president of Children's Hope Chest, has a passion for the fatherless, as I learned firsthand when I interviewed him for a story I wrote for Today's Christian magazine (May/June 2008).

The father of biological, adopted, and informally adopted children, Tom is also an avid blogger. On his Notes From The Field blog, Tom takes us along on his many trips to third-world countries, and he frankly discusses many important issues.

I noticed that he is giving away two free books to other bloggers who are willing to read and write posts about them.

A few weeks ago, Tom sent me a new edition of his book, Fields of the Fatherless: Discover the Joy of Compassionate Living. The new edition has additional chapters, Tom's personal experience in "the fields" and a study guide. He plans to release a DVD that will include personal stories and experiences of those who have walked through the Fields, along with Tom's commentary on each chapter.

To learn more about Tom, his family, and his ministry, check out "Father to the Fatherless" in Today's Christian.

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Washington State Foster Families Camp for Free at WA State Parks

One of my readers, who is a foster parent, alerted me to the following info:

Washington State resident foster parents and relative foster caregivers who camp with the children in their care are entitled to free campsites in Washington State Parks. Participants in the program may camp at first-come, first-served parks or make a telephone reservation to camp in a reservation park (call 1-888-CAMPOUT or 1-888-226-7688).

Eligible participants making reservations do not pay for camping but are charged the reservation fee to hold sites in the reservation system. To get free camping when making a reservation, tell the operator you are a foster care provider. Then, when you arrive at the park to register, show a photo ID indicating Washington residency (for example, a Washington State Driver's License), along with a Foster Care ID card or your Foster Home License.  Walk-In campers need to show these same documents at the park to receive a free campsite. 

Foster parents and relative caregivers also may use State Parks boat launches and pumpouts for free when they camp.

I live in Washington and do my fair share of camping at our state parks. Here are my favorites: 

• Pacific Beach or Ocean City (near Ocean Shores) - Extremely windy at Pacific Beach so RVs are best at this park (yes, your tent WILL blow over; I speak from experience). But Pacific Beach State Park is literally on the beach. Ocean City is just down road and the campground is a short walk to the beach. Miles and miles of unpopulated, sandy beach, perfect for stunt kite flying. You can even drive your vehicle on parts of the beach. Dress for cold weather and rain. Beware: the ocean in Washington is COLD. And I mean frigid!
• Birch Bay (near Bellingham) - huge, woodsy park, great for biking. Canadians flock to this park during clamming season. There's a water slide a couple of miles down the road for the kiddos.
• Fort Ebey (Whidbey Island) - small, woodsy, intimate park with cool old forty stuff for the kids to play in.
• Wenberg (Snohomish County) - on a pretty lake; close to outlet malls, if you need retail therapy
• Alta Lake or Pearrygin Lake (Eastern WA) - more pretty lakes, good for summer swimming.
• Battle Ground Lake (my old stomping grounds) - yet another beautiful lake in southwest Washington. Good swimming hole; pretty good fishing (electric motors only).
• Wenatchee Confluence - huge flat sites, large grassy area, miles of biking trails; there can be mosquitos.
• Sun Lakes - if you like it hot and dry, head to this Eastern Washington hot spot. We're talking 100+ degrees from June-August. Lotsa water sports.
  

Happy camping in beautiful Washington state, foster families!