“My Home is Your Home”
Today, guest columnist Leigh Stevens joins us. She shares how she is experiencing God's call to adopt internationally. As she and her husband await the right timing, they are providing financial assistance to other families who are adopting.
By Leigh Stevens
Guest Columnist
My family will tell you I was always inviting anyone in need to come live with us. In high school, a foreign exchange student was having problems with her sponsor family. I offered my parents' home to her and she became part of our family for that school year, so I guess the concept of “my home is your home” has always been there.
In January 1999, I went on a medical mission trip to India, 10 months before I met my husband. There, I went to a real orphanage for the first time. I remember thinking, I am going to adopt one day. On that particular visit, a little boy we’d seen in the clinic earlier in the day for a cold was running a high fever. He was curled up in the corner of a bunk bed all alone. I crawled in that bunk bed and picked him up, held him, and kissed him. I cried and cried. This precious child needed a mommy to hold and kiss him through his illness. This simple act that so many take for granted would never been known to this little child.
After my husband and I were married in 2001, we were driving back to Alabama from Massachusetts to start our married life. In the car ride, I was listening to Focus on the Family. They did a segment on adoption with Steven Curtis Chapman. He talked about adopting his daughter from China and all the fears that they had. As I listened, I knew that God was confirming in my heart that a child was waiting for me in another country.
As time passed we settled into our careers (I am a nurse anesthetist and my husband is an accountant) and married life. Little did we realize we would face infertility. After six years of marriage, we were unable to conceive a child. The sadness of infertility hit us—the whys, “this makes no sense,” the bitterness, the anger. The Lord reminded me about that child who goes to sleep every night wanting a mom and dad. That’s when I knew infertility treatment was not an option for us. I asked myself, “How can I pay all this money and waste time on something that may not work, when there are millions of beautiful children waiting for a home? We decided to adopt.
During this process I joined forces with KenyaRelief.org, an organization that started an orphanage in Kenya. We have expanded into opening a medical clinic for orphanages and the community, offering state-of-the-art medical care and medicine year round.
I joined their adopt-a-child program and my (sponsored) child is Kevin Chacha. I love this program! When I travel to Kenya, I get to stay on the same site as the orphanage so I have developed a relationship with him personally!
During my work with kenyarelief.org, God called me to go back to school to become a doctor so that I can do more for orphans. Currently, I am in my second year of medical school. Due to my medical training, it will be at least another 2-3 years before I can actually proceed with an adoption.
During our research on adoption, we realized a common theme that broke our hearts: financial hurdles that stop or prolong many adoptions. I asked Ray, “How can we bring home one or two children and leave millions behind? We have to do something now—not later—to offer hope for those left behind. That's why we founded Our Creator's Hope.
This Christian not-for profit organization offers grants to families needing financial assistance for domestic and international adoptions. In fact, we’re just awarded our first $1,000 grant, to the Asperger family. This family is adopting two brothers from Ethiopia. Their blog is Faith for the Journey.
I hope this organization will also be used to help churches worldwide develop resources and education tools to start orphan/adoption ministries for pre-adoption, during, and post-adoption families (just like we have woman, men, youth ministries in most churches). Our Creator's Hope would also educate and encourage Churches to develop grants/loans to their membership seeking adoption.
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Ok, I have to say this. Just so you know where I am coming from, I was raised in a liberal christian tradition. I have had the opportunity to study many Western and Eastern religions. My husband and I are the very proud parents of two (adopted) boys, ages 7 and 11.
I am a little cynical when I read about adoption organizations that focus on only Christian (usually can be read: evangelical Christian) adoptions. I often wonder whether the goal is to provide children with wonderful safe loving homes, or to increase the evangelical Christian population (although bit by bit). If the goal truly is the former, then I would think that more children would find homes if we also recognized that people from all faiths can be capable of providing wonderful, loving families for children who need adoptive homes.
If you start your own organization, of course you have the right to limit the population you serve. I just wish that I was hearing about more organizations that were more open minded and less limited in their approach. It must get discouraging for some families who would love to adopt, who would be terrific families, to have themselves automatically discounted by so many support organizations. And frankly, this exclusion does not meet with my idea of being a Christian. I'm the great, great, great, granddaughter of a martyred Christian missionary, so it's not like I haven't given some thought to what doors can be opened up to people when they are introduced to faith in God - I guess I'm just not particular about what faith. I won't presume to speak for God, but if I was in His position, I think I'd be a little weary of all the labelling and exclusion that takes place in His name! After all, the major teaching of Jesus in the New Testament (Love one another...) is also a major tenet of 21 major world religions.
Linda, I think your site is a wonderful resource for people and I think it is very balanced. Although you come from a perspective that is Christian-based, people of all faiths can find wonderful information and share ideas about adoption, so this is not a criticism of your terrific website. I just wish that some of the organizations featured displayed a more embracing and encompassing focus on adoption that reflected the diversity of the world we live in.
I did enjoy reading about the Kenya relief organization - sounds like a good group. As a family we have chosen to support kids in the communities where they live (although if I could talk my husband into another adoption I would adopt internationally without hesitation). We support several children through plan-international.org (formerly foster parents plan) and they do encourage you to visit the communities and children you support, so we are planning a trip to El Salvador next year. In fact, the first sponsorship was a gift from Santa to my son, who asked for peace on earth for Christmas, and Santa couldn't deliver. Just to bring this full circle, a big part of the reason that Santa can't deliver is ... conflict taking place in the name of religion.
Posted by: Sue | Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 08:18 AM
Sue,
Thank you so much for your comments! I wanted to take the time and emphasize that it is not OCH's intention to force religion or a belief on anyone; it’s to offer orphans a safe and secure environment within the unit of a family. We accept applications from people within the christian community, we do not favor a specific sect or denomination of christianity.
Secular and religious leaders of all sects agree that a family is the best place for a child, not foster care or orphanages. OCH main goal is to help each child find their family.
I am a Christian and it’s made me whom I am today. I would never ask any of my friends that are of other faiths to change. Each person has to decide what they believe and stand for. For me to exclude God and my beliefs from an organization that I am passionate about is something, I can not do. If this offended you, I am sorry.
When OCH was created, we decided to extend our assistance to domestic and international adoptions, which many grant programs do not do. We also wanted to have very minimal requirements for approval of our grants. If you look at organizations out there, there is alot of organizations that require certain countries, age, parent qualifications, etc in order to qualify for their grants.
When we decided on our criteria, we went with what we understood and lined up with God's word. We only require married christian couples. Why? One, its my faith and belief that God created the family as the "ideal" unit for success for raising a child. Can Christian single parents provide the same thing? Yes; Are there situations where there is an exception to the rule? Yes; Do I think you can raise a child outside of these ideas in a loving and healthy enviroment? Yes. With that said, OCH has to have requirements and criteria, and these will be ours.
I do support and encourage you to see the deficiencies in our organization and others and step out in faith and create your own organization that reaches out to those who do not fall within these guidelines!!! We need all the help in resolving the orphan crisis and any individuals or organizations that can join the fight is welcomed!
If you need any assistance, we are willing to help you in any way that we can! Best wishes and we wish you continued success with your work with plan-international.org,
Leigh
Posted by: Leigh | Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 11:48 AM