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5 Ways to Bring Your Family Closer Together

How good are you at making room for quality time with your family?

Success_april_may_2008_2 A new magazine called SUCCESS offers five tips to help you to achieve a successful relationship with your family.

  1. Create a family calendar. Schedule time each week for specific family events and stick to it. 
  2. Turn off the TV, video games and the computer. Exercise as a team: bike, walk, shoot hoops in the driveway or hit the slopes.
  3. Cook quickly and eat slowly. Take time to share something you learned that day and listen to each other.
  4. Pack the marshmallows. Camping promotes family togetherness and incorporates a variety of individual interests. Fish, swim, hike, photograph, bike, play cards, stargaze. Don’t forget to meet around the campfire at night.
  5. Strive for quality over quantity. Really getting to know and understand each other makes all the difference, whether in large blocks or in little moments.

Source: SUCCESS magazine, April/May 2008, used with permission. SUCCESS focuses on a comprehensive approach to life, family, money, personal achievement and giving back.

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For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Orphan Care Organizations

In my last post, I explained several reasons why 90 percent of the world’s orphans will never be adopted. I also introduced you to several orphan care organizations – caring folks who use creative methods to care for orphaned children.

Today, I’d like to introduce you to a couple more:

Buckner International
www.buckner.org
It’s Your Mission (info about Buckner’s international mission trips)
Missions Blog

Buckner International, a global Christian ministry based in Dallas, seeks justice for ‘the least of these’ by providing care and resources for orphans and at-risk children in the United States and more than 50 countries around the world. Through international orphanage support, humanitarian aid, short-term missions, foster care and adoption, Buckner has made a lasting impact in some of the world’s most poverty-stricken and socially desperate countries.

Jenny Pope, Publications Editor, writes:

"For more than 128 years, Buckner has been a progressive leader in the movement towards justice for orphans and widows. Today, Buckner works in an advisory role with many international governments to educate leaders on children’s issues and create new legislature ensuring lasting changes for at-risk children."

Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency
www.CarolinaHopeAdoption.org

I’ve previously introduced you to Dan Cruver, who blogs  for Carolina Hope. The agency supports Ethiopian orphans through orphanage care and group home support.

Carolina Hope is also beginning a project to help government-supported children; this program is called Helping Orphans and Promoting Education (HOPE). Carolina Hope will support 50 orphans each year by providing school supplies and meeting other needs in the community. For more information, visit their Ethiopia Group Home Needs page.

Dan sent me a YouTube video created from footage captured during Carolina Hope’s recent trip to Ethiopia. He says that every shot of the (3 minute, 23 second) video was taken at “an orphanage that is located in a village with 20,000+ known cases of AIDS. It is a profoundly needy area. The video is interspersed with quotations from John Piper's book, Don't Waste Your Life.”

Related Posts:

7 Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted
From Hope to Reality (an interview on Cruver’s blog)

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Sign up for Adoption World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

7 Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted

Chinese_baby_2 Did you know that there are nearly 150 million orphans worldwide?  You read that correctly. 150 million. It’s a number I can’t even wrap my mind around.

Did you know that 90 percent of the world’s orphans will never be adopted?

I can think of seven common reasons for this:

  1. The orphaned children live in countries in which adoption is not culturally accepted.
  2. The children are taken in by extended family members and are not formally adopted.
  3. A government system cares for orphaned children (usually in orphanages) until they “age out” of the system.
  4. Some orphans are deemed “un-adoptable” due to their medical, developmental, or cognitive needs.
  5. Some children tagged “orphans” are not truly orphaned—many have at least one living birth parent.
  6. Birth parents leave their child at an orphanage and promise to return later to pick up the child. If they never return and do not relinquish their parental rights, the child remains in limbo.
  7. An orphaned child contracts HIV/AIDS.

The March issue of Adoption World eZine provides doable tips for how you can impact the life of an orphaned child. Since the eZine “went to press,” I’ve heard from several orphan care organizations. Each of them provided me a brief overview of what they do.

I hope the work these organizations are doing will inspire you to think about what you can do to impact the life of an orphan. Be sure to check out their Websites for detailed information.

Food for Orphans
www.FoodforOrphans.org

Food For Orphans is feeding orphans in Asia, Africa, Central America, South America, and the Caribbean. Gary VanDyke, founder and CEO, says:

We seek out and evaluate new orphan care projects that need assistance in providing food to hungry orphans. Our goal is to make sure that every orphan receives at least one nutritious meal per day.

orphanCare International/Dillon International
www.orphancareintl.org

For over 36 years orphanCare International/Dillon International has been dedicated to helping orphaned and abandoned children along with poverty-stricken families in some of the most neglected areas of the world. 

Tonnie Dosser, Associate Director of Development, says:

“By providing educational support, medical care and daily care we hope to help create a brighter future for God’s children.”

Orphan Outreach and Mission Backpack
www.orphanoutreach.org
www.missionbackpack.org

Orphan Outreach has developed a clear mission to serve orphans and children at risk of being orphaned by providing a quality Christian education that prepares them for a fulfilling independent life in their community.

“Our school model focuses on advanced technology, economic development, bi-lingual education, spiritual development and community service. The focus of our educational program is to provide early intervention, quality education, and spiritual development, as well as improve the lives of orphans and children at risk of becoming orphans.”

If you want to get involved with Orphan Outreach, consider donating a school backpack to an orphan who lives in Guatemala, Honduras, India, or Russia.

Forever Families Foundation
www.foreverfamiliesfoundation.com (website coming soon)

A not-for-profit, 501C3 organization dedicated to bringing orphan awareness and education to the body of Christ in Northwest Arkansas. Director Joetta Schork writes:

“We welcome opportunities to speak to church groups, civic organizations, and anyone wanting to learn how to become involved in Adoption, Foster Care or Orphan Ministry. 

Warm Blankets Orphan Care International
www.warmblankets.org/

Craig Muller, co-founder of this non-profit Christian mission, writes:

“With 140 homes on three continents, we are focused on restoring the childhood on the lives of orphans.” The ministry serves as a means to help indigenous villagers care for orphans in their own countries.

They work in partnership with churches, corporations, organizations and individuals who have a passion to help needy, parentless children. They use everything from cellular systems to satellites in coordinating efforts to rescue orphans from extremely remote and often life-threatening situations.

World Orphans
www.worldorphans.org
Abandoned-Orphaned Blog
1-888-ORPHANS

World Orphans is committed to rescuing millions of orphaned and abandoned children, the strengthening of thousands of indigenous churches, and the impacting of hundreds of communities with the Gospel of Jesus Christ…through the cost-effective empowerment of church-based orphan prevention, rescue, care and transition programs in the least reached areas of the world.

Paul Myhill, President of World Orphans, writes:

“We have funded over 500 projects in almost 50 countries in the developing world. The majority of these projects have involved the building and running of family-style homes for orphans, built on the property of indigenous churches.”

More orphan care organizations coming in the next post! If you’d like your orphan care organization featured this week, please e-mail me a brief description.

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Birth Mother's Day Gift Ideas - Plan Ahead for May 10, 2008

CarnationDid you know that there is an official Birth Mother's Day?  Yep, it's true. I love Birth Mother's Day because it gives adoptive families a chance to honor the special women who birthed the children we have the privilege of raising.

Birth Mother's Day 2008 is Saturday, May 10 (the day before Mother's Day). My e-mail buddy, Coley (who founded BirthMom Buds, owns a business called HeartMarkDesigns.com. She offers a line of unique cards tailor-made for Birth Mother's Day. You won't find these cards at Hallmark or anywhere else, for that matter!

She also has a line of small gifts -- magnets, a journaling kit, and a mini vacation kit.

Coley offers bulk discounts to adoption agencies, adoption professionals, and others who order 25 or more cards by April 8.

Coley says, "As a birth mother myself, I can't tell you how much a simple card means on Birthmother's/Mother's Day weekend.

If you are in contact with your child's birth mother and want to give her something special, here are four more ideas (feel free to chime in with your own ideas in the Comments area):

  1. Manicure or pedicure (you can get a gift card for a shop in her area)
  2. Spa treatment
  3. Gift card to her favorite restaurant or store
  4. Take her out to lunch or to Sunday brunch

Related articles:

5 Tips for Exchanging Gifts Among Birth and Adoptive Families

The Role of Birth Grandparents in Open Adoption

Grieving Birthmom

30 Ways to Get Through Birth Mother's Day (on BirthMom Buds)

Birth Mother's Day Events and Cards

Birth Mom Seeks Ideas for How to Celebrate Mother's Day

Hope_portrait_wendy_wolf You'll also find a bunch of links to adoption greeting cards, gifts, and other adoption-related merchandise at www.laurachristianson.com:

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

'Gotcha Day' Products - What do You Recommend?

I just received an email from an entrepreneurial adoptive mom. She and a friend are considering creating a line of products to help adoptive families celebrate their child's adoption day (sometimes referred to as "Gotcha" day).

They want your input about products you'd be likely to purchase. They're particularly looking for ideas for boys. Here are their ideas so far -- please let them know what you think of their overall idea, of their products, and whether you have suggestions for additional products (take the poll and/or respond in the Comments area).

  • Picture frames decorated with flags of the child's birth country, airplanes, and maybe the child's birth date and gotcha day date
  • Cake plate
  • Cupcake plate

Take the poll!

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Contact with Birthmom Saddens 9-year-old

One of my readers has requested help with the following dilemma:

Her 9-year-old son, whom she adopted at birth, has an open adoption with his birth mom. He recently had a visit with her, and the contact seems to sadden him.

The adoptive parents really like their son's birth mom and are glad their son is able to know her, but they are concerned that they may be "mismanaging" the visits.

The adoptive mom writes:

Our son says says he misses his birth mom (after he visits with her) but he's only seen her five times in 10 years, and the first few visits he can't even remember, of course.

I think he is feeling grief at such a deep level that each visit re-opens his unsettled feelings about being adopted. He's at an age where it's difficult to be different and although he has quite a few friends who were also adopted, the majority of his peers were not and I think it's bothering him.

I'm so thankful that I have been able to openly and honestly discuss this with his birth mom and she is prepared to step back as much as necessary to help him. She does not want to interfere and she is comfortable with her decision, but she has her own grief to deal with, too.

The family has sought counseling from someone who specializes in adoption grief, but feel as if it might be more helpful to consult with someone who has experience working with older children in open adoptions.

Any suggestions, readers? We'd love to hear from birth parents, too. Please respond in the Comments area...thanks much for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

A Male's Perspective on Infertility and Adoption

I was pleasantly surprised to read a personal experience article about infertility--written by a man--in Today's Christian magazine (Jan/Feb 2008).

In the article, Elliott J. Anderson, author of Answers in Abundance: A Miraculous Adoption Journey as Told from a Father's Heart, candidly shares his struggles with infertility, his emotional and spiritual shift to considering adoption, and some amazing truths the Bible reveals about infertility and adoption.

I haven't read his book yet, but if it's anywhere near as well-written as the article, I can't wait to get my hands on it!

For more news and information on adoption topics, please visit www.laurachristianson.com or my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.


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    Adoption Blogs

    • A Little Pregnant
      You want blogs? Julie's got blogs for you. Check out her "somewhat haphazard collection of links" to blogs pertaining to infertility, adoption, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and being a parent. You won't be disappointed.
    • About Adoption/Foster Care
      Written by Carrie Craft, this informative blog at about.com offers a variety of interesting tidbits about adoption and foster care.
    • Adopt Taiwan
      By Cindy, a Christian mom-to-be who is waiting to adopt from Taiwan.
    • Adoption Adventure
      Lena Wright, a certified professional coach and Christian counselor, is adopting two brothers from Haiti.
    • Adoption Family
      Hot links to hundreds of adoption websites, organized by topic.
    • Adoption Options Web Directory & Resources
      Free adoption articles to acquaint people with their options, as well as links to other quality adoption sites.
    • Adoption Share
      An online community where you can share experiences, find answers and purchase resources related to adoption.
    • Adoption.org Blogs
      The comprehensive adoption web site, adoption.org, recommends a few adoption blogs and has a discussion board.
    • AdoptLove
      A couple's journey to adopt a child from Ukraine.
    • Adventures in Daily Living
      Jamie and Suzanne's adventures with their adopted children from Russia.
    • And Chloe Makes 6
      By Becky, mother of four, and waiting for #5 to come home from China.
    • Anonymous Daughter
      By an adult adopted person whose biological father contacted her.
    • Big Momma Hollers
      By Cindy Bodie, a 51-year-old happily single mother of 39 kids ages 3-32.
    • Blogging Baby
      A blog about pregnancy, baby care and parenting. Some adoption issues covered. Entertaining and informative -- one of my faves.
    • Chronicles of Mommyhood
      Written by an African American mom from Pennsylvania who loves to share stories and resources with other African American families who are seeking to adopt. You can read about their adoption adventure in their first blog: http://cleandsylsjourney.blogspot.com/.
    • Crowned with Laurel
      By Esther, who has experienced two failed adoptions from Russia and is now embarking on adopting from a different country.
    • Do They Have Salsa in China?
      Gotta love the title of this blog! You can probably figure out what it's about.
    • Embracing the Journey to my Daughter and Beyond
      By Billie, who's recording her feelings about adopting her daughter from Taiwan as a gift to her daughter.
    • Families.com Adoption Blog
      A group blog written by an adult adopted person and several adoptive parents.
    • Family Building: From Where I Sit
      Cynthia Peck writes this informative blog, which covers many aspects of family building, from assisted reproductive technology to adoption to long-term foster care.
    • Fat Girl's Guide to Triathalons
      Candid comments about the home study process from a mom who's waiting to adopt.
    • Finding Sweetness
      By Kristin, who's waiting to adopt a baby from Vietnam.
    • Foster Care & Adoption Author's Site
      Okay, it's not a blog; it's Jayne Schooler's author website. Jayne is well-known for supporting, educating and encouraging families formed by birth, adoption or foster care.
    • From Hope to Reality
      The blog of Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency. Lots of in depth discussions and interviews about adoption issues.
    • Hand Picked
      Written by a couple who is waiting to adopt a son from Korea.
    • Heartprints
      Sharon Brani, an adoption coach and counselor, offers encouragement and inspiration for adoptive parents.
    • Heidi's Hotline
      Reflections about adoption and about writing from Heidi Saxton, an adoptive mom of two former foster children and editor of a magazine for Catholic "Women of Grace," www.womenofgrace.com.
    • His Heart
      By Erin, a Christian woman who has experienced infertility for 9 of her 11 years of marriage, and is moving towards adoption.
    • His Heart for Orphans
      This ministry of Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, LA, supports families during their pre-adoption journey.
    • Hydrangeas are pretty
      Pre-adoptive mom Shelli writes this blog about waiting to adopt domestically.
    • International Adoption Stories
      An adoption directory featuring international adoption information and agency advice from Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Guatemala, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Vietnam, Haiti, Mexico, Ethiopia and other counties. In addition to stories, the site includes information on adoption costs and financing, medical and health advice, parenting tips and news.
    • It's A Girl!
      The Seyler family writes about raising their special needs daughter adopted from Ukraine.
    • Jochebed's Hope
      A non-profit ministry aimed at promoting the Biblical foundation for adoption.
    • Just Enjoy Him: Ramblings of a Mid-Life Mom
      By Judy, a 45-year-old mom of a 5-year-old son born in Vietnam.
    • Lifemothers.com
      Although it's not a blog, this Web site for birth mothers is excellent. With the belief that a birthmother's role does not end at 'birth,' but continues for life, Lifemothers strives to be a safe haven for all Lifemoms, regardless of age or contact with child.
    • Links to Adoption Sites
      Links to adoption agencies, books, blogs, and personal sites.
    • Martha's Voice on Adoption
      Adoption info and commentary from Martha Osborne, editor of RainbowKids.com International Adoption E-Zine.
    • Mommy Monsters
      Heidi Saxton, columnist for CatholicMom.com, writes smart, refreshing posts about adoptive parenthood (among other things).
    • My Adoption Links
      A self-described "obsessive person collecting adoption links." Organized alphabetically.
    • Neither Here Nor There
      Written by The Passionate Peach, a 30-something reluctant adoptee who has been reunited with her birth family for over two decades.
    • Our Adoption Journey
      By Todd and Kimberly Phillips, who are waiting to adopt a special needs child from China.
    • Our Adoption Journey
      By a couple who is adopting from foster care.
    • Pamela Kruger
      A blog about motherhood, marriage, work, and life in suburbia by a mom who adopted from Kazakhstan.
    • Paradise Preoccupied
      Written by adoption advocate Sandra Hanks Benoiton, this blog is a cool combo of news tidbits and edgy commentary.
    • RainbowKids Blog Community
      Blogs from families who have adopted or are adopting internationally.
    • Red Lights
      Written by Monica, a single mom from Alberta, Canada who adopted a son with Down syndrome. Gorgeous design; interesting read -- don't miss this blog!
    • Red Thread Dads
      Jack Bailey, a dad-to-be who created his blog for to-be-dads, dads who have already adopted, and even those who are contemplating the idea of Chinese adoption. Not updated often, but then, he's probably busy getting ready to bring his daughter home.
    • Research-China.Org
      To educate adoptive parents about Chinese culture, China adoptions and aspects of a child's early life in China.
    • Ryan J Hale
      Ryan is a foster dad who reflects on his upcoming adoption from China. His entries are from a Christian worldview.
    • Stuart & Liz's Adoption Blog
      The highs and lows of one couple's journey through the UK adoption process.
    • The Adoption Choice
      A forum to help pregnant women and teens considering adoption.
    • The Chambers' Adoption Process
      By Brit and Heath, who are waiting to adopt domestically (U.S.)
    • The Life of a Texas Mom
      Gwen is a Christian adoptive mom of three who regularly shares bits of her adoption story.
    • The Seventh Diamond
      Kimberley Girvin and her husband prepare for the arrival of their family's seventh member, a daughter from China.
    • Third Mom
      A thoughtful, well-written blog by Margie Perscheid, mom of two Korean teens, wife of 30+ years, and Korean adoption activist.
    • This Woman's Work
      Dawn Friedman, an associate editor at epregnancy magazine, writes this blog about writing, mothering, and writing about mothering. Includes reflections on adoption.
    • Ukraine Adoption Journal
      Steven Harper Pizik chronicles his family's journal to adopt two boys from Ukraine.
    • Waiting for Mercy
      By Michelle, a mom of four boys who is waiting to adopt a little girl from Guatemala.
    • Writer's Wanderings
      Freelance writer, Karen Robbins, is also an adoptive mom. Her blog contains "musings along life's journey."