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Down Syndrome Adoption Q & A

Reeces_rainbow_logo Today we continue our visit with Andrea Roberts, executive director of Reece’s Rainbow Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry (to acquaint yourself with Reece’s Rainbow, please read my previous post, “Adopting a Child With Down Syndrome”).

Laura Christianson:
Reece’s Rainbow helps families adopt children who have Down syndrome. Your focus is on international adoption. Do you help with domestic, U.S. placements, as well?

Andrea Roberts:
There are almost 200 families who are “paper ready” and on a waiting list to adopt domestic children with Down syndrome. Robin Steele, who works with the Down Syndrome Association of Greater Cincinnati, is the point person for all domestic adoptions. She is also in touch with a lot of attorneys who can facilitate private, domestic adoptions of children with Down syndrome.

LC: Why does Reece’s Rainbow focus exclusively on international adoptions?

AR: In Central and Eastern European countries alone (including Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Romania, etc., but not Russia), there are more than 1.5 million children who have been abandoned by their families for one reason or another and are living in “public care” (that's the nice way to put it). If statistically, 1 out of every 733 live births results in a child with Down syndrome, that means at any given time there are 2,046 children with Down syndrome who need families. And that’s just in Europe! Some do not survive because of serious medical complications, lack of medical attention, lack of food, and/or lack of love.

In many of these countries, there is no place in society for children born with Down syndrome. They get dumped in orphanages out of shame and fear. The children with special needs go to the same baby houses until they turn 4; they are then sent to special orphanages for children with physical or cognitive challenges – whoever isn’t perfect gets dumped.

In Russia, these orphanages are closed; once the child is transferred, he or she is no longer eligible to be adopted. In Ukraine, however, children living in those orphanages are eligible to be adopted until they are 16.  It’s important that we get these children out of the orphanages before it’s too late. When people become aware of the future they can prevent by adopting one of these children, it motivates them.

LC: What are some other reasons people adopt children who have Down syndrome?

AR: There are two different kinds of people who adopt:

  • People who have fertility issues and want healthy newborns.
  • Parents who have a biological child with Down syndrome. They have lived and learned the blessing that these children are.

These children bring more joy than I can describe. Like any child, each child with Down syndrome has his or her own personality and challenges. Families who have had experience with children who have Down syndrome often say, “Give me more of what we’ve got.” We have a family who is in the process of adopting their fourth child with Down syndrome from Colombia.

We are working with three other families who do not have a child with Down syndrome. They simply have a heart and a calling, so they are taking a leap of faith.

Some families are special education teachers. They spend a lot of time with these kids and say, “I want one of my own.”

So there are lots of different scenarios, but the families who adopt have the same heart—they understand what these children bring to the world.

LC: What are some of the challenges of parenting a child with Down syndrome?

AR: Down syndrome is a condition also known as Trisomy 21. It’s caused by an extra copy of all or part of chromosome 21. That causes different issues, in varying degrees, with different children. Yes, you need to get therapy for your child and find special ed classes. You live a different lifestyle, but you adjust.

LC: How are you working with social service agencies in other countries to make it easier for families to adopt children with Down syndrome?

AR: More people would adopt if they could afford it and if they didn’t have to spend six weeks in-country. Most people who adopt children with special needs already have multiple children at home, with or without special needs. The travel requirements prohibit many from making the choice to adopt internationally. We’re reaching out to social services in these countries to encourage them to modify the adoption process or the required time parent has to spend in-country.

LC: Explain your Child of the Month project.

AR: On the first day of every month, one child who is in exceptional need of a family is featured as the Reece’s Rainbow Child of the Month. People can donate $10 a month to go into the adoption grant fund of each child of the month. $10 may not seem like it would make a difference, but collectively, it does.

LC: Tell us about your Yahoo! Group.

AR: The Reece’s Rainbow Yahoo! Group currently has 108 members and is used to keep people abreast of new waiting children and to make announcements about new programs. Many wonderful supporters have joined our Yahoo! group.

LC: How can people contact you for more information?

AR:
Visit www.reecesrainbow.com, donate by check to Reece's Rainbow, PO Box 2055, Dacula, GA  30019-9998, or e-mail Andrea Roberts at bamaroberts@comcast.net.

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

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Couple Advertises Their Desire to Adopt on Billboard

A Minnesota couple has posted nearly 90 handmade, 3-foot-by-4-foot billboards across Minnesota and Iowa in hopes that a pregnant woman who's considering adoption will contact them.

The couple says they've tried unsuccessfully for three years to locate a woman willing to place her healthy baby with them, and they had an adoption fall through earlier this year.

Readers: What do you think of this unusual approach? Do you consider it the same--or different--than advertising your desire to adopt in the classified ads or posting your profile on the Internet? Is this going to start a new trend among prospective adoptive parents?

Sources: WCCO.com Channel 4

Here's a more in-depth followup story about the couple; printed in the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel on June 1, 2007. "Adoption Billboards Raise Ethics Questions" by Brandon Stahl of the Duluth News Tribune.

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Adopting a Child with Down Syndrome: Visit Reece’s Rainbow

Reeces_rainbow_logo_2 This morning I chatted with Andrea Roberts, executive director of Reece’s Rainbow Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry. She had just returned from the vet, where she adopted a pair of 8-week-old kittens.

In addition to the kittens, Andrea and her husband are in the process of adopting sibling boys, ages 6 and 4, from Estonia. Andrea is also the mother of two birth children, Reece, age 5, who has Down syndrome, and a 2 ½-year-old. “Better busy than bored,” is Andrea’s motto.

Andrea, who founded the non-profit, all-volunteer Reece’s Rainbow, donates 60 hours a week of her “free time” to the ministry. Reece’s Rainbow is not an adoption agency. They do not complete adoption home studies. “We are a connecting point,” says Andrea.

Reece’s Rainbow connects:

  • U.S. families who seek to adopt a child with Down syndrome internationally
  • U.S. families who seek an adoptive family for their child with Down syndrome
  • International families who seek an adoptive family for their child with Down syndrome
  • Birth families of children with Down syndrome who seek counseling

Reece’s Rainbow works with about 15 adoption agencies and has programs in 27 countries. Those countries include:

  • Armenia
  • Bulgaria
  • China
  • Eastern Europe
  • Estonia
  • Ethiopia
  • Republic of Georgia
  • Guatemala
  • Haiti
  • Hong Kong
  • Hungary
  • India
  • Korea
  • Latin America
  • Latvia
  • Moldova
  • Peru
  • Poland
  • Russia
  • Taiwan
  • Ukraine
  • Uzbekistan
  • Vietnam

They are in the process of adding Liberia and Philippines.

During the past 11 months, Reece’s Rainbow has helped find adoptive families for 37 children who have Down syndrome. Their Web site features more than 115 children with Down syndrome who are waiting for adoptive families.

Here’s how Reece’s Rainbow connects adoptive families with children who have Down syndrome:

  • Adoption agencies who have waiting children with Down syndrome contact Andrea.
  • Andrea posts profiles (and oftentimes, photos) of those children at the Reece’s Rainbow Website (agencies do not pay any fees to post the profiles).
  • Families interested in adopting a child with Down syndrome visit “The International Adoption Process” page at Reece’s Rainbow.
  • After acquainting themselves with the adoption process, families compare the requirements for each country’s adoption program.
  • After choosing a country that seems like the best fit, families choose a child from the gallery for that country. Not all the country pages display photos of the children available for adoption, but Andrea notes that there are many children waiting (particularly in Ukraine) who are not listed on the Web site.
  • Andrea creates a private gallery page for each family, customized by country, the child’s age, the family’s travel abilities, number of children at home, etc. These private pages include both the profiles and photos of children who are waiting to be adopted.
  • Once the adopting family chooses a particular child, the family works directly with the agency who referred that child (noted on the child’s profile page) to complete the adoption.

Helping make international adoption more affordable for families who want to adopt a child with Down syndrome is a huge part of the Reece’s Rainbow ministry. Andrea notes that many of the agencies significantly reduce agency fees and/or make grants available for children with special needs.

Andrea sets up a donation account for each child who is featured on the site. “That becomes the child’s grant fund,” she explains. All tax-deductible contributions to a child’s grant fund are disbursed to the referring adoption agency after a family commits to adopt the child, submits their dossier, and has been given an appointment to travel.

Adopting families can also apply to join the Family Sponsorship Program.  Families who are members of this program post information about themselves and the child they are hoping to adopt. Friends, colleagues, church members, and total strangers can make a tax-deductible donation, via Paypal, towards the adoption. This grant money is also disbursed to the referring adoption agency.

“This money has been the key to giving potential adoptive families the strength and courage they need to step forward in faith,” says Andrea. “International adoptions are very expensive, even for children with special needs, so to see available grant money really makes a big difference.”

In the next post:
Q & A with Andrea Roberts, executive director of Reece’s Rainbow

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

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'Adventures in Daily Living' Hosts Adoption Roundup

My friend Suzanne, mother of two children recently adopted from Russia and blogger at Adventures in Daily Living, is hosting an adoption roundup this week.

If you're an adoption blogger and want to participate in the roundup, just pick out your favorite adoption post (from your own blog) and add its URL to Mr. Linky on Suzanne's post (my link is #43 on her list). Then other readers who are interested in your topic and visit your blog and see what you have to say.

It's a great way to learn more about adoption and to "meet" other adoption bloggers. Of course, you can visit the blogs, even if you aren't a blogger yourself. Try it and let me know what you think!

Here's a list of Suzanne's adoption roundup blogroll:


For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

 

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Why Most Children Adopted from China are Girls

Chinaguangxi_2 China’s Planned Birth policy, commonly known as the “one-child policy,” (instituted in 1979) is an attempt by China’s leadership to limit population growth and encourage steady economic growth among its population of 1.3 billion.

An article in today’s Seattle Times says, “Local officials eager to meet population quotas have frequently been accused of forcing women to submit to abortions or sterilizations to keep the birth rate down.”

Many families interpret the one-child policy as follows:

If their first child is a girl or is disabled, they can try again for a son. But they have to pay a $375 fine for their second child (a fee many poor farmers can’t afford). The fines increase progressively for third and fourth children.

In China, where girls are viewed as being of intrinsically less value than boys, disdain for female babies has resulted in the abandonment of many girls so their parents could try to conceive a boy. Also, girl babies who are the second or third child in a family are sometimes abandoned because their families are unable to afford the fines.

Rural areas, where the one-child policy has not been enforced, are now seeing the backlash from the policy. This week in Guangxi province (in southern China; see highlighted province on map) “birth-control bureaucrats showed up in a half-dozen towns with sledgehammers and threatened to knock holes in the homes of people who had failed to pay fines.”

I'd love to hear from Chinese nationals, females who were adopted from China, and parents who adopted from China. Please share your views on the one-child policy and how it has affected you in the Comments area of this post.

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Sources: “China’s birth-control policies led to riots,” The Seattle Times, 5-24-07 (originally published in The Washington Post)

Map: Wikipedia

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'Today' Show Features Mardie Caldwell, Adoption Author

Adoptingonlinecom_banner Adoption_your_stepbystep_guide I was excited to see my friend Mardie Caldwell appearing live on the Today show last week with host Meredith Vieira. Mardie, the author of AdoptingOnline.com and Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide, discussed common questions people have about adoption.

Here's a link to the video of "I Want a Baby...Adoption."

Learn more about adoption at www.laurachristianson.com and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore for the latest, greatest adoption books.

Sheryl Crow Adopts

Grammy-winning recording star Sheryl Crow, 45, adopted a two-week-old baby boy last week. Her new son, adopted from the United States, is named Wyatt (after her dad) Steven (after her little brother and “Scooter,” the nickname of her longtime manager and friend, Steven Weintraub).

Source: Tonight

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

 

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Adoption and Orphan Care Summit III Slideshow

Am busy today so won't have time to post my notes of Rick Warren's keynote speech from the Adoption and Orphan Care Summit III, but here's a slideshow of photos I took at the conference. I took pictures of some of the displays at the ministry fair before things got started, and I'm including those to give you an idea of the types of orphan and adoption ministries that exist.

Here's a slideshow of my trip. Click inside the slide show to view the photos full size, with captions, or click this link to view the photo album.

For more news and info about adoption, please visit www.laurachristianson.com. For a selection of the latest, greatest adoption books, visit my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

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Book Review: ‘The Memory Keeper’s Daughter’

Memory_keepers_daughter The Memory Keeper's Daughter
By Kim Edwards
Penguin Books, 2005

In an intriguing twist on the typical adoption-related plot line, Kim Edwards weaves an engrossing story that reveals the damage secrets and lies can wreak on a family.

The story opens in 1964, as Norah Henry goes into hard labor during the middle of a snowstorm in Lexington, Kentucky. Unable to make it to the hospital in time, Norah’s orthopedic surgeon husband, David, delivers the baby, with assistance from his nurse, Caroline.

Heavily sedated during the delivery, Norah doesn’t realize that she gives birth to twins. The first is a healthy boy. The second is a tiny girl whom David immediately realizes has Down syndrome.

In a moment of horrified panic that haunts him for the rest of his life, David instructs his nurse, Caroline, to take the baby to “a home.”

“This poor child will most likely have a serious heart defect. A fatal one. I’m trying to spare us all a terrible grief,” he tells his nurse. He decides to tell Norah that the baby died.

Unable to leave the baby in the home for retarded children, Caroline decides to informally “adopt” her and raise her as her own.

The book follows the two families through 1989, focusing mostly on the very thing David had hoped to avoid: his wife’s “terrible grief” over “losing” their daughter, Phoebe.

Norah, wallowing in unceasing pain over her supposedly dead baby, engages in various self-destructive behaviors. David, guilt-ridden over lying to his wife but determined to keep his secret at all costs, withdraws into a silent shell and views life from behind the lens of his camera. Their son Paul, the unwitting victim of his parents’ angst, rages at both his parents.

Meanwhile, Caroline and the other twin, Phoebe, establish their own lives in a distant locale.

While eloquently written, The Memory Keeper's Daughter jumps from scenario to scenario, giving us random glimpses into the lives of the various characters. The slow-paced narrative, while thought-provoking, regularly rehashes the same material; I felt as if I was watching an endless film loop replay itself in my mind. Especially disappointing was the fact that the author killed off one of the main characters near the end of the novel. Was this her way of neatly tying up plot twists she was unable to resolve any other way, I wonder?

The story helped me better understand the grief that birth parents experience when placing a child for adoption, as well as the insecurities that adoptive parents in a closed adoption feel. But overall, the narrative offered little hope; little forgiveness; little redemption. And while the ending was hopeful, it left me feeling unsatisfied and just plain sad.

Readers, if you’ve read The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, what did you think? Please post a comment.

L.A. Times Reporter Blasts Adoption & Orphan Care Summit

Today’s L.A. Times published an article by Stephanie Simon titled, “Christian groups launch adoption campaign.”  The gist of the article is that the “religious right” is moving from its “narrow focus on abortion, homosexuality and pornography as un-Christian” and is now jumping on the adoption bandwagon.

Laura_at_focus Simon is referring to the Adoption and Orphan Care Summit III, jointly hosted by FamilyLife, Shaohannah’s Hope, Focus on the Family, and other organizations. I attended this conference Wednesday through Friday of last week.

Did Simon and I attend the same conference, I wonder? In her article, Simon seems bent on casting “conservative” Christians in a bad light (big surprise, huh?). She describes the speakers’ “political overtones,” citing that several speakers mentioned “an urgent need to settle children in Christian homes that have ‘both a mommy and a daddy’ — an implicit rebuke of same-sex parenting.”

Give me a break. I think that most people—including single parents—would agree that an ideal situation for a child to be in (particularly a child who has lived in an orphanage or in foster care), is a healthy, two-parent family.

I sat through every single speaker, every presentation, and as many workshops as I could attend. Not once did I hear a rebuke—implicit or otherwise—of either single parenting or same-sex parenting. While I know that the organizations in charge of the conference do oppose same-sex parenting, the issue was not discussed. It was not even hinted at. The “implicit rebuke” that Simon assumes she heard was entirely of her own invention.

What I heard—numerous times, in fact—was an admonishment to “leave your egos and your logos at the door” (The L.A. Times reporter apparently overlooked that advice). And surprisingly, people did leave their egos and their logos behind. On the last day of the conference, as I was eating lunch at a round table with eight other people I’d never met before, someone remarked, “You know, not once have I heard anyone mention what church they attend.”

I pondered that statement and realized it was true. I couldn’t tell you whether a single person I met was from a “conservative” church, a “liberal” church, a mainline denomination, or whatever. I couldn’t tell you whether they were right-wingers, left-wingers, or moderates. I couldn’t tell you whether they “discipline their children with switches” (as Simon suggests that anyone who would dare set foot in Focus on the Family’s headquarters must do).

What I can tell you is that over 80 percent of the 350+ attendees are adoptive parents from all over the United States, from all walks of life. Over 100 church and para-church organizations were represented. Most of those organizations are run by volunteer lay people. A sprinkling of pastors attended, as well as representatives from several adoption agencies and humanitarian organizations.

The focus of the conference was not on “evangelizing orphans” (as Simon reported). Rather, the challenge was something Christians and non-Christians agree on:

There are 115,000 children in the U.S. who are legally free for adoption. There are over 150,000 million orphans around the world. What are you going to do about it?

Through the centuries, the body of Christ (i.e., Christians working together—laying aside their agendas and their differing theologies) have been key instruments in facilitating positive social change. Only when Christians work together to address the orphan crisis will significant steps be taken to mitigate it.

Sadly, the majority of orphans around the world will never be adopted. How will the Christian community play a role in providing aid to orphans? How will we deal with the AIDS crisis that leaves so many children orphaned? How will we help families in third- and fourth-world countries become self-sustaining?

It’s a huge challenge—a challenge that the L.A. Times reporter, in her quest to criticize the so-called “conservative” church movement—never picked up on.

Lest you assume that I am one of those “whacko right-wingers” who enthusiastically nods in agreement with everything my pastor tells me to think, I must inform you that I approached this conference with a healthy dose of skepticism.

My “logo” is as follows:

  • I am a member of a mainline denomination.
  • I am politically moderate and independent (I vote for the person who I think will do the best job, rather than along party lines, which drives both Democrats and Republicans crazy).
  • I send my children to public school.
  • I shop indiscriminately at Wal-Mart and Nordstrom.
  • I write professionally for both “secular” and Christian publications.
  • I don’t beat my children with a switch, and I have been known to yell at them.
  • I adopted my kids, not so much out of a desire to rescue “orphans,” as out of a desire to become a parent.
  • My kids aren't even "orphans." They have birth families who are alive and well and who love them. They were healthy newborns when they came to live with us. We have an open adoption with their birth families.

So for me, stepping onto the Focus on the Family campus—the bastion of conservative Christianity—was a leap of faith. I discovered a bunch of well-educated, extraordinarily intelligent, passionate people who care about children. Not so threatening after all.

If the L.A. Times reporter had listened—really listened—and checked her ego and her logo at the door, I think she would have made the same discovery as I did.

Tomorrow, I’ll share what Rick Warren really said in his keynote speech, and I'll attempt to cut through all the crap (can Christians say "crap"?) that  Stephanie Simon spewed in her article.

Related posts:
Adoption & Orphan Care Summit: Day 1 Report
'When Love Takes You In' by Steven Curtis Chapman

For more info about adoption, please visit www.laurachristianson.com.
For great books about adoption, visit my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

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    • The Chambers' Adoption Process
      By Brit and Heath, who are waiting to adopt domestically (U.S.)
    • The Life of a Texas Mom
      Gwen is a Christian adoptive mom of three who regularly shares bits of her adoption story.
    • The Seventh Diamond
      Kimberley Girvin and her husband prepare for the arrival of their family's seventh member, a daughter from China.
    • Third Mom
      A thoughtful, well-written blog by Margie Perscheid, mom of two Korean teens, wife of 30+ years, and Korean adoption activist.
    • This Woman's Work
      Dawn Friedman, an associate editor at epregnancy magazine, writes this blog about writing, mothering, and writing about mothering. Includes reflections on adoption.
    • Ukraine Adoption Journal
      Steven Harper Pizik chronicles his family's journal to adopt two boys from Ukraine.
    • Waiting for Mercy
      By Michelle, a mom of four boys who is waiting to adopt a little girl from Guatemala.
    • Writer's Wanderings
      Freelance writer, Karen Robbins, is also an adoptive mom. Her blog contains "musings along life's journey."