Exploring Adoption

Actress Sharon Stone Adopts Grandparents

One Hollywood star, who experienced the joy of adopting a child, decided to adopt a second time. Only this time, she didn’t adopt a baby; she adopted great-grandparents for her baby.

Actress Sharon Stone and her now ex-husband, Phil Bronstein, adopted their son, Roan, in 2000. Sharon marveled at how much she loved this baby with whom she wasn’t biologically connected. So she carried adoption one step further, by informally adopting grandparents for herself and her son. “We should be able to adopt adults into our lives as well as children,” says Sharon, in the July 2003 issue of Good Housekeeping.

Sharon met Eileen Mitzman at an AIDS fund-raising event and was struck by Eileen’s warm, loving demeanor. One day, Sharon (whose biological grandparents are dead) visited the Mitzmans at their apartment and asked them if she could adopt them as her grandparents. “They were a little incredulous at first, I think. But I told them I really meant it; I wanted them to be my family,” says Sharon.

The Mitzmans agreed, and Sharon's family has since fully embraced them – the Mitzmans even walked down the aisle as grandparents at Sharon's sister's wedding.

Sharon’s willingness to adopt grandparents demonstrates that she grasps a key concept about adoption: it doesn’t matter who your child belongs to; what matters is who belongs to your child. Sharon filled a hole in her son’s life by finding people to belong to him.

Adapted from Laura Christianson's upcoming book, What's So Great About Adoption? A Self-Guided Tour for the Uninitiated (available August 1, 2007, Harvest House Publishers).

Related Posts About Sharon Stone:

Celebrities Adopting   

Sharon Stone Discusses Adoption

Sharon Stone Adopts Third Child

Note to readers (Nov 20, 2006): There has been a sudden, intense interest in this post. Where are you all coming from? Please comment or email me, and thanks for visiting!

Forbes Magazine Reviews Adoption Blog

I was delighted to discover that my "Exploring Adoption" blog is featured in the Spring 2005 issue of Forbes Best of the Web Magazine.

In her review of my blog, Karen J. Bannan writes: "More than just musings, her posts often respond to news or research reports, and are teeming with factoids and statistics (like the fact that, according to the Census Bureau, 2.5% of all children under 18 years of age are adopted), as well as compassionate advice like "8 ways to support an infertile friend." Her well-organized blog lets you find topics by category, ranging from financing adoption to international and open adoptions."

Thanks, Forbes! I feel honored that you consider my blog worthy of comment. I hope that it will continue to be a source of information and inspiration about all things adoption.

Free Adoption Search Registries

Given Right Research is a fee-based adoption search company in Texas that helps reunite adult adoptees with their birth parents. Jennifer Robinson, who runs the company, has granted me permission to reprint her list of free adoption search registries from her blog.  Jennifer is both an adopted person and a birth mom. She has located both her birth mother and her birth daughter.

• Adopt Search Registry ADOPT SEARCH REGISTRY - Free search forum & registry.
• Adoptees Database ADOPTEES DATABASE - On-line searchable database.
• Adoptees Internet Mailing List AIML - An Internet mailing list where adoptees can gather for advice in conducting a search and have discussions of varied reunion outcomes.
• Adoptees Miracle Search Network ADOPTEES MIRACLE SEARCH NETWORK - Offers information and services for adoptees and birth parents including searchable database.
• Adoptee Search Center ADOPTEE SEARCH CENTER - One of the largest online databases available on the net. Many other additional resources as well.
• Adoptee Searchers Handbook ADOPTEE SEARCHERS HANDBOOK - Numerous Canadian resources for the adoptee or birth parent.
• Adoption Connections Project ADOPTION CONNECTIONS PROJECT - A growing group of individuals dedicated to bringing together birth mothers, adopted daughters, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, step mothers and other women and men who find themselves within non-traditional families.
• Adoption Records and Queries ADOPTION RECORDS AND QUERIES - WWW bulletin board.
• Birth Quest BIRTH QUEST - Online international searchable database dedicated to searching adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents and siblings.
• Black Market Adoptee's Registry BLACK MARKET ADOPTEE'S REGISTRY - Large listing of black market adoptees.
• Canadian Adoptee FAQ CANADIAN ADOPTEE FAQ - Ultimate resource of contact numbers, information and tips for those searching within Canada.
• Canadian Adoptee Registry CANADIAN ADOPTEE REGISTRY - Here you can perform various Canadian searches, register your information or use various other tools that they have made available.
• Find Me FIND ME - Online adoptee/birthparent registry sorted by decade.
• International Soundex Reunion Registry INTERNATIONAL SOUNDEX REUNION REGISTRY - The world's largest reunion registry.
• Jules' Search and Reunion Site JULES' SEARCH AND REUNION SITE - Consists of inspiring stories and valuable information about search, reunion, national adoption legislation and the vast online adoption community.
• Kindred Pursuits KINDRED PURSUITS - a free registry available to anyone searching for kin in Canada or the United States.
• Locate Me LOCATE ME - Professional locate service.
• Lost Connections LOST CONNECTIONS - Many adoption resources and a reunion registry.
• Lost n Found Adoption Registry LOST N FOUND ADOPTION REGISTRY - Provides a database for the sole purpose of registering an adoption or for searching for matching adoption records.
• Lycos Birth Parent Search LYCOS BIRTH PARENT SEARCH - Message board.
• Merry-Go-Round Search Registry MERRY-GO-ROUND SEARCH REGISTRY - This Registry DOES NOT POST e-mail or postal addresses nor does it post telephone numbers.
• Metro Reunion Registry METRO REUNION REGISTRY - Registrations include nearly every State, Canada, and 17 foreign countries. Information is entered into the database upon receipt. In the event of a match with existing data, or a match with new incoming data, you will be notified immediately.
• My Adoption Page MY ADOPTION PAGE - Article that is about adoption, adoptee issues, birthparents, adopting, and searching.
• National Finders Adoption Registry NATIONAL FINDERS ADOPTION REGISTRY - Online fee based registry.
• PBN Reunion Bureau PBN REUNION BUREAU - Online message posting board which can be accessed by state.
• Relatively Seeking RELATIVELY SEEKING - Allows you to search for relatives, as well as, leave entries within the database.
• Relinquished Registry RELINQUISHED REGISTRY - Registry, message board and other resources.
• Reunions Magazine REUNIONS MAGAZINE - Content focuses on reunion organizing, searching and helping organizers be well-educated and wise reunion consumers.
• Reunion Registry REUNION REGISTRY - Provides a free "Search Assistant" that allows you to search their registry with ease.
• Seekers Of The Lost SEEKERS OF THE LOST - Claim to have the largest search registry online with over 42000 records.
• Shea's Search Series SHEA'S SEARCH SERIES - An online guide to self-empowered adoptee search methods and other related information.
• The Difference THE DIFFERENCE - Registry and numerous other resources.
• The Reunion Network THE REUNION NETWORK - A complete network of services for adoptees and birth parents including a search registry, books, FAQs, and a locator service.
• Volunteer Search Network VOLUNTEER SEARCH NETWORK - provides a worldwide group of volunteers who offer search help to people touched by adoption.
• Who? Me? WHO? ME? - Search registry for those searching for others.

There's also a good list of links to adoption search and reunion sites (complete with hot links) at http://www.dmoz.org/Home/Family/Adoption/Search_and_Reunion/

Here's another one a reader submitted:
http://www.findmybiologicalparents.com
Start by taking a look at our state resources, or contact one of our support angels to begin your search.

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Baseball and Open Adoption

People are curious about open adoptions and how they work, so from time to time, I share my own experiences. Here's one from yesterday:

Our son played in an all-star baseball tournament in the city in which his birth mother lives (not to mention my extended family, my husband's parents, and our other son's birth family!). We invited everyone to attend the tournament, and sure enough, they all showed up!

While our older son was playing his first game, our younger son tossed a football around with his birth father. Meanwhile, younger son's birth grandparents, my dad, and my husband's parents chatted together. During the second game, our older son's birth mother, her husband and their two daughters showed up, along with my brother and his wife and kids.

I'm so thankful that God, in his grace, plunked us all down in the same vicinity. The funny thing is, back when we adopted our boys, my husband and I didn't live anywhere near the boys' birth parents. My parents and my husband's parents lived in a different state. But they all ended up living within 20 minutes of one another, while my husband and I live a couple of hours away from everyone.

So, how do we all get along? Pretty well, I'd say. They're all wonderful people who I'd enjoy knowing under any circumstances. It took some time and mental adjustment for all of us to become comfortable with one another, just as it does in any relationship. And it's a work in progress. But to see the boys interacting simultaneously with their birth and adoptive families -- it's all worth it.

Support for Birth Fathers and Birth Grandparents?

In my last post, I introduced a web site that offers emotional support to birth mothers who have relinquished children for adoption. One reader asked whether there are any web sites that offer support to birth fathers.

Birth dads often get left out of the loop when it comes to adoption. What efforts are being made to provide them with the emotional support they need? Does anyone know of any groups or web sites that cater specifically to birth fathers?

And what about birth grandparents? They're very much a part of the adoption scenario, as well. Are there any support systems out there for them?

If you know of any, please post a comment on this blog or e-mail me with details.

Web Site for Birth Mothers

I just found a neat website for birth mothers, called Birthmom Buds.  The founders, Coley and Lani, are both birth mothers who placed babies in open adoption situations. Their goal is to connect women with others who understand "the bittersweet emotions of being a birthmother."

They state that they don't replace counselors, but offer the support of people who have walked down the same path. They are not affiliated with any agency; they simply provide a listening ear.

They have developed a buddy system where they match birth moms with other birth moms who share similar interests and are close in geographic proximity. For women who are pregnant and making an adoption plan, they offer a mentoring program. They also offer a monthly newsletter.

A cool feature of the site is the gift baskets they give to newly placed birth moms who go through their Pregnant and Placing Program. According to Coley, "We match women who are pregnant and considering adoption with women who have already placed children for adoption and are at peace with their decision. The care packages contain different items to pamper a birthmom, like a journal, bath gels, picture frames, etc."  They send the care packages out 2-to-3 weeks post-placement, as that is the most emotionally difficult time for new birth moms. Coley adds that they accept donations for the gift basket items.

The site also includes information and advice for adoptive moms who are considering having open relationships with their child's birth mom. This section includes:

• Suggestions for gifts to give birth moms
• Suggestions for what to include in letters and updates to birthmoms
• Cards for birth mothers
• Ideas for what to include in a "Dear Birthmother" letter
• Advice on first phone calls or e-mails

Birthmom Buds offers lots of helpful, practical information and support. Check it out!

Australia Drops Age Restrictions for Adoptive Parents

The South Australian government has dropped the age restrictions for people wanting to adopt. Currently, potential adoptive parents must be under age 55 and there can be no more than a 45-year age gap between parents and child.

Other favorable news for adoptive parents Down Under: the waiting period for adopting a second child has been reduced from two years to one.

Source: The Australian

Vietnam and the United States to Sign Adoption Agreement

Vietnamese Prime Minister Phan Van Khai is visiting the United States this week, and is expected to sign a joint agreement with U.S. officials aimed at preventing Vietnamese children from being trafficked and exploited.

According to a story in The Malaysia Star, "Vietnam in the late 1990s began requiring countries to sign adoption agreements with the communist country after police uncovered several rings which trafficked children for foreign adoption."

A similar story by the Vietnam News Agency mentioned that both the Vietnamese and U.S. governments are "committed to create every favourable condition possible to facilitate the adoption of orphaned children on humanitarian grounds and for the purpose of child protection."

Also part of the agreement:

• Rules governing the licensing and oversight of adoption service providers.
• Rules to ensure that Vietnamese children are adopted for humanitarian purposes only.
• Rules to monitor the adoption of Vietnamese children through U.S. adoption organizations.

Link: Vietnam and the United States to sign adoption agreement.

Ukraine Gives Preferential Treatment to Domestic Adopters

Ukraine is still open to foreign adoptions, but will give preferential treatment to Ukrainian families applying to adopt a child, said Yuriy Pavlenko, Ukraine's Youth, Family and Sport Minister.

The waiting period for national adoptions is currently five-to-six years. New adoption procedures will reduce that time to five-to-six months.

Link: ForUm - Ukraine to simplify adoption procedure.

Embryo Adoption/African American Adoption

An interesting blog at madison.com juxtaposes the adoption of African-American infants and embryo adoption.  Seems like a strange combination at first, but the author makes the point that hundreds African-American infants are being adopted by Canadians and Germans because U.S. families won't adopt them. Meanwhile, the U.S. government plans to spend nearly $1 million this year to promote embryo adoption.

The writer, an adoptive mother, wonders whether "this (federal funding for embryo adoption) is a way to increase the supply of healthy, white infants available for adoption by Christian families at the expense of African American and biracial children."

She cautions readers to consider what could happen to the special needs children worldwide who are waiting to be adopted if people decide to adopt embryos instead.

Link: Blog | madison.com.