Guidelines for Group Sharing Based on the Quaker Model of Careful Listening

This the ninth in a series about adoption and infertility ministries. Parts 1-7 are posted April 3, 5, 7, 11, 18, 24, 28 and 29.

Today, I share guidelines that I’ve adapted and used for many types of groups – they work great for just about any kind of small group.

I strongly recommend appointing a facilitator for your group who will monitor the clock and ensure that everyone receives an equal opportunity to share, and who will steer participants back on subject when they begin to “bird walk.”

• The major activity of any small group sharing is grateful listening. Allow each person to finish his/her story. Please do not interrupt.
• Speak of your own experience, wants, needs, desires, feelings. Avoid rescuing, problem solving, debating, offering advice, or feeling responsible for alleviating someone else’s pain.
• Every person is an expert on his/her own experience.
• After everyone who wishes to has had a chance to share, you may share a second time. Often, insights into your own experience will be gleaned through the sharing of others.
• It is always okay to let the group know that you wish to pass. Silence speaks to us.
• Listen empathetically. Use your nonverbal skills to communicate caring and concern. Do not ask a lot of questions of another person when he/she is sharing.
• Remember . . .everything that is shared in our group is confidential. Please respect each other’s privacy and leave shared information in this room.