Exploring Adoption

Romanian Adoptions Restricted

A new law that took effect January 1 in Romania severely restricts international adoptions from that country.

• The law sets domestic adoptions as a priority, and restricts international adoptions to biological grandparents.
• It allows foreigners to adopt Romanian children only if the steps taken to place them with local families have failed.
• It prohibits international adoption of children under age 2.
• It prohibits foundations from acting as intermediaries in the adoption process, but allows the involvement of authorized foreign associations.
• The new Romanian Office for Adoptions is the only institution allowed to coordinate adoptions in the country.

For more information, read the Southeast European Times article, "Romania Implements Law Restricting International Adoptions."

Should Adoptees Have Access to Their Birth Records?

Two bills were introduced this month to the Texas House of Representatives that would give adopted people 21 and older access to their original birth certificates.

Birth parents are offered some protection under HB770. Birth parents could submit a preference form to the state adoption registry, indicating whether they want to be contacted.

To read the bills, visit www.capitol.state.texas/us and search for HB240 and HB770 in the bill action and vote history field.

So far, only five states (New Hampshire and Oregon are two of them) allow access to original birth certificates.

I'd like to hear from birth parents and adopted people.

• Does your state or country have open adoption records? If so, in which state/country do you live?
  
• Have you accessed records in order to make contact with a birth parent or child?
• What difficulties did you encounter during your attempts to access records?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of states allowing open access to adoption records? 

Please post your comments or email me by clicking on the link at the top left corner of my blog. I'll compile the feedback I receive and include it in a future entry.

Senate Moves to Make Federal Adoption Tax Credit Permanent

Sen. Jim Bunning introduced a bill (S246) on Feb. 1 to make permanent the 2001 increase in the adoption tax credit from $5,000 to $10,000, and to repeal the sunset provision for the credit (which is set to expire in 2010). The legislation, entitled “The Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act,” was referred to the Committee on Finance. The U.S. House unanimously passed a companion bill (HR1057) in Sept. 2004.

In a related action, Rep. Todd Russell Platts introduced legislation (HR347) on Jan. 25 that would amend the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, making the credit for adoption expenses permanent and repealing the five-year carryover limitation of unused credit. Platt’s measure was referred to the House Committee on Ways and Means. To read the bills, go to: http://thomas.loc.gov/ and search for S246 or HR347 in the bill number field.

If you'd like to see the tax credit extended permanently, now would be the perfect time to write to your state's senators. To learn how to do this, read my blog for January 19, 2005 ("Adoption Tax Credit to End in 2010").

For general information about the tax credit, read my November 7, 2004 entry ("The Federal Adoption Tax Credit Explained"). You can access these entries from the "Financing Adoption" section.

I highly recommend subscribing to the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute's monthly e-newsletter. The newsletter provides current news and information about adoption law, policy and research. You can read past their e-Newsletters at http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/newsletter/archive.html.

Information in this entry is from the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute's February 2005 e-newsletter.

Adopting a Child with Down Syndrome

Parents are seeking to adopt children with Down syndrome, according to a February 23 article in the Kansas City Star. Not only are prospective parents eager to adopt children with the chromosomal disorder, they're lining up to do so -- some agencies have waiting lists of 10 to 15 families who'd love to adopt a child with Down syndrome.

In his article, Eric Adler writes that the Down Syndrome Association of Greater Cincinnati (Ohio) has a waiting list 150 names long of people waiting to adopt children with Down syndrome.

Attitudes about Down syndrome have changed drastically during the past 30 years, when information about the chromosomal disorder was limited and schools, doctors and the community offered little or no help. In those days, many children were relinquished to group foster homes or state institutions, writes Adler.

Today, children with Down syndrome "attend public schools, join sports teams, and graduate from high school," writes Adler. "More adults with Down syndrome live on their own, in group homes, and even marry. They work in the community and live semi-independent lives."

More than 90 percent of those who seek to adopt children with Down syndrome have firsthand experience with DS kids or they are professionals who have cared for children with the disorder. They don't see Down syndrome as a burden, but as a manageable difference.

Some experts estimate that there is a 90 percent abortion rate for Down syndrome babies, because tests can detect the disorder as early as 9 to 11 weeks into a pregnancy. Thus, fewer children are being born with Down syndrome.

Adler writes that parents who adopt children with DS must be committed to dealing with a variety of issues, most commonly, developmental delays. Many children require occupational, physical and speech therapies on an ongoing basis, and children may exhibit the following problems, from mild to servere: congenital heart problems, digestive problems, lung problems, thyroid and immune system problems. Some DS children are susceptible to leukemia. Others develop ear infections that lead to hearing problems and speech delay. Other early problems include weak muscle tone and unstable neck vertebrae.

Any parent who has a child with Down syndrome will tell you that the joy the child brings to your life far outweighs the challenges. My friend and fellow writer, Sheri Plucker, says that her daughter, Hailey, "warms my heart with her contagious smile, laughter and love when she wraps her arms around me and squeezes me tight."

I've had the pleasure of learning about Down syndrome from Sheri and of reading some of her articles, books and children's stories. Many of Sheri's children's stories help normalize Down syndrome by acquainting readers with characters who have Down syndrome. Other stories are written specifically for young children who have Down syndrome. Sheri's stories are delightful and she is a wealth of knowledge about Down syndrome. If you are considering adopting a child with DS and would like to know more about the challenges and rewards, please contact Sheri via her website, www.sheriplucker.com.

Related Post:

Resources for People Adopting a Child with Down Syndrome

For more posts on Down Syndrome check the "Down Syndrome" category in this blog.

For more info about adoption, please visit www.laurachristianson.com and the Exploring Adoption store.

8 Ways to Support an Infertile Friend

From the time we’re girls playing with dolls, most of us dream of becoming mothers. But for the one in six women who experience infertility, the struggle to conceive or to carry a pregnancy to term is a nightmare. Women in the midst of a fertility crisis need a caring friend. Here are eight ways you can provide hope and healing:

1. Love by listening. Don’t give advice or try to fix things. Just be there. Warm hugs are the best gift you can give.
2. Learn about fertility treatment. Infertility is a medical condition that often necessitates medical intervention. If your friend is undergoing treatment, learn about the procedures so you can better understand the physical and emotional symptoms she’s experiencing.
3. Do something normal together. Invite her to lunch or a movie.
4. Arrange a childfree visit. Being around children may be difficult for your friend. If you have children, avoid talking excessively about your own pregnancy, childbirth experiences, or children.
5. Cheer on adoption. If your friend decides to adopt, show the same enthusiasm you would exhibit if she was physically pregnant.
6. If you become pregnant, share the news in person, if possible. Understand that your friend will experience a mixture of emotions—happiness for you and sadness for herself. Don’t pressure her to attend a baby shower.
7. Extend sympathy. If she loses a baby to miscarriage or failed adoption, send a card, flowers, or a small gift in memory of the child.
8. Pray. If you are a person if faith, pray specifically – on a daily basis – for something related to her struggle. E-mail your friend, letting her know that she’s in your thoughts and prayers.

How to Respond to Rude Remarks About Adoption

“Your son looks so much like you and your husband – he looks as if he could be part of your family.”

“He is part of our family,” I reply.

“You know what I mean,” says my new acquaintance.

I am silent. I know what’s coming.

“He resembles you so closely. You’d never know that he’s not your real child.”

Adoptive families are regularly assailed by acquaintances who make thoughtless remarks in the presence of our children. We can choose to ignore the remarks, make an angry retort, answer graciously or respond with a little sly humor.

One weekend, we attended church with friends we were visiting. After the service, we introduced ourselves to the official friendly greeter. Upon spotting our olive-skinned son, friendly greeter person announced, “Your son doesn’t look anything like either of you. Who does he look like?”

“The milkman,” I deadpanned.

It’s helpful for families to develop strategies for dealing with intrusive questions. Some families invent a secret code word or gesture that lets others in the family know that they’re under busybody attack and are about to blow their stack. These code words can keep an unpleasant encounter from escalating, and it’s a fun way for families to develop a sense of camaraderie and mutual support.

Adoptive parents and kids: What are the most irritating comments people have made to you? How do you respond? Do you use a code word or gesture? Send me your thoughts and I’ll compile them and post them.

Birth parents, too, are faced with intrusive questions and accusations.

• “How many children do you have? How come you kept one child but put the other one up for adoption?”
• “Why did you give up your child? I could never give away my own flesh and blood.”
• “Do you want to take your child back?”
• “Why were you so selfish that you didn’t even want to raise your own child?”

You may be thinking: She's making that up. No one would have the audacity to actually ask those questions. My children’s birth parents say otherwise. They're regularly interrogated with similar questions.

Birth parents: What are the most uncomfortable questions you’ve been asked? How do you respond? Send me your thoughts and I’ll compile them and post them.

A link to my e-mail address is in the top left corner of my blog.

Why Don't Some Countries Allow Adoption?

In my January 31 entry, I explained that hordes of people are seeking to adopt children orphaned during the tsunamis. Most of these children are not available for adoption, nor will they ever be. Here's why:

1. The tsunami orphans represent the next generation, and many communities are not willing to lose their remaining children.
2. Cultural norms dictate that extended family and community members care for orphaned children. Unfortunately, many of the orphans will become servants in their relatives' homes, where they'll do menial labor. Many girls will be sold into marriage when they become teenagers.
3. Religious restrictions come into play. Islam, for instance, does not allow non-Muslims to adopt Muslim children.
4. Governments do not have regulations in place that allow for international adoption. While Americans often adopt children from Thailand or India, adoption is almost unheard of in Sri Lanka or Indonesia. Such countries may have unstable governments with insufficient regulations to prevent baby-trafficking, or they simply believe that orphans should be raised in local orphanages. Most of Africa's 54 countries forbid adoption, even though 80 percent of the world's AIDS orphans live there.

Source: The Washington Times, "Adoption not an option," by Cheryl Wetzstein, February 2, 2005