A Child's View of Adoption

We had a little snowstorm in Seattle last night, which gave us the excuse to run outside, pummel each other with snowballs and build snowmen (it snows an average of two days per year here, so we have to take advantage of it while we can).

My son and I tromped to the neighbor's house, where we were invited in for hot cocoa. My friend's 5-year-old daughter showed me her Barbie stuff, and I solemnly informed her that Barbies (or anything pink) are not allowed in our house because we are an all-boy family (except for me). "Oh, I wish I had some girls around to do girlie things with," I moaned.

A few minutes later, the girl marched up and confronted me: "I thought you said you don't have any girls. Josh just told me he has two sisters."

"He does have two sisters," I replied. "Only they don't live with us." An explanation of adoption ensued, along with the story of how my sons' respective biological sisters live with their birth parents.

The neighbor girl pondered this information very seriously for a few minutes as she snuggled in her mommy's arms. Then she looked up at her mom and announced, "I would never, never want to be adopted."

My son entered the room just in time to hear her make this proclamation. He responded, "I love being adopted! I have two sets of parents and I get double the presents!"

Children often provide us with the most touching, sensitive and honest viewpoints about adoption. When Josh was 5, he told me, "I wish I had been born from your tummy." Our neighbor girl verbalized the same sentiment, intuitively sensing the pain that one feels when separated from a parent.

I was touched by Josh's reaction to her statement. His spontaneous, heartfelt response showed his young friend that there are two sides to every story. We all left the conversation feeling content, and most of all, loved.

Comments

[Kari]

Laura, just catching up on my blog reading, and wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed reading this sweet story!

[David Campbell]

Due respect, I wonder how the birthmother might feel if she had the luxury to read this. I wonder if she might be saddened at the loss of her son. Being separated from one's birth family is traumatic ... I'd appreciate it if you not gloat that your adopted son, with the wisdom of a five year old, wished he were born in your tummy. God help the poor birthmom. The trauama and pain just continues to be heaped upon her ...

[anna]

wow!! this a very moving story!! i wud like to hear more of this type of thing. i was adopted frm india bombay. i have never met my birth mother. but my mum aka Radmila is an amazing woman and has put with a lot frm me as a child. im sorry mum and i love u soo much!!. xXx

[mia]

hi my name is maria and i was wondering if you would mind if i used this story in a research paper that i am doing on adoption?

[Edd]

Hello,

Was wondering if there are any websites that offer support for the child in the adoption, such as me, im grown up, now im 18, but ive just been told i was adopted and its hit me like a train, ive talked to my birth mum and my sister, and i have started to have feelings for them, so much so that i cant stop thinking about them, and well, im just all over the place things are running though my mind.

I need some help, is there any ?