Adoption World eZine is a free e-newsletter that offers fresh content you won't find on the Exploring Adoption blog.
Each issue focuses on a different adoption-related topic and contains useful tips, information, and inspiration.
Coming in the next issue:
Post-Adoption Support
Read past issues of Adoption World.
Weaving Families Adoption Ministry debuted its free online magazine this month.
RJ Caswell, Exective Director of the North Carolina-based ministry, writes:
The summer issue (35 pages) is packed with articles, including:
The second issue comes out in September. RJ welcomes suggestions for articles and says, "We hope folks that read the magazine will find comfort and inspiration."
Cindy Bigelow, founder and director of CHOSEN International, alerted me to the following:
Christian camp designed especially for teens, adopted at any age, both domestic and international.
Dates: August 28-30
Place: Eagle Fern Camp (near Portland, Oregon)
Camp theme: "The Father Heart of God,” and finding your identity in who God says you are
Speakers: Adult adoptees, including:
Cost: $100, which includes a popular CHOSEN hoodie. Some partial scholarships are available through Chosen. Also, some churches are paying the tuition for teens from their church to attend.
CHOSEN board member (and popular adoption author/speaker) Sherrie Eldridge has said:
Cindy writes:
For more info and to download a registration form, visit the Events page at www.choseninternational.org.
CHOSEN International is a faith based nonprofit organization providing educational, emotional and spiritual support to teen adoptees and their parents.
By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist
In her book, The Adoption Decision, Laura Christianson writes:
“When Caucasian families adopt children of a different ethnicity, they become a minority family.”
When I read this statement, it took me back to the journey our family made to receive this honorary status.
My husband and I were raised in families in which racist comments arose on a regular basis. Our adoption agency informed us that we had a high chance of being matched with a Eurasian daughter with our selection of Kazakhstan. A deep concern plagued me, especially as we waited for that first glance of our daughter. I later discovered that my fears regarding our family’s feelings were unmerited. Both sides of our family received our daughter with open arms.
Quite honestly, I had my own struggles in our choice to adopt a different ethnicity—struggles which had nothing to do with prejudice. The conflict within me focused on the attention I anticipated our daughter would receive due to her appearance compared to the rest of the family.
I feared constant questions and intrusion about her adoption. I dreaded people asking about the cost, but more then that, the continual focus on her being adopted.
I didn’t intend on withholding information about her adoption, but I feared the ceaseless reminder might cause insecurity and problems for her. I conquered some of this apprehension by helping her feel proud about being born in Kazakhstan and talking freely with her about it.
I also wondered how she would feel if someone accused us of not being her parents? While leaving an establishment with her at 18 months old, I received questions about her being my child. My daughter wouldn’t identify me as her mother, but thankfully, my friend with me did. I discovered from that episode the importance in carrying an identification card for her. I never leave home without it now.
I found that admitting my own inner battle to others eased my concerns and helped me see that others wrestled with the same issues. My daughter has been with us for a little over three years now, and I’m proud to be considered her mother—and a minority family.
Beckie Stewart is a regular guest columnist on Exploring Adoption. She also blogs at www.godsgraciousgems.blogspot.com
In keeping with the tradition that Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas started, Wendy’s has a mix of happenings this Father’s Day season where proceeds will be donated to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.
At FrostyCard.com, kids can create a free, custom Father’s Day e-card or select a pre-designed card created by a celebrity. Wendy’s will donate 25¢ to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption for every card sent.
And, over Father’s Day Weekend (June 20-21), Wendy’s will donate 50¢ from every Frosty sold to the DTFA. There are two new Frosty flavors – Frosty-cino & Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty.
Here are some members of the Christianson clan enjoying Frostys last Father's Day:
One of my readers, R., is planning to adopt from Kazakhstan as a single parent. She's been going through a stressful time lately, and has been taking an anti-depressant for a couple of months.
R. heard that Kazakhstan does not allow for any history of taking anti-depressants. R. writes:
Now I am really worried that I may have just ruined my chances of adopting from Kaz.
What should I do? If it’s only been a couple of months, can I just get off the medication and ask the social worker to not mention it in my dossier so I can adopt?
What do people typically do in this situation?
R: You may be surprised at how many people ask this question. You're not alone in wondering whether your use of an anti-depressant may hinder your chances of adopting.
Each country from which people adopt has its own set of rules and regulations. Some of them play fast and loose with the regulations; others adhere to them like glue. And, of course, the adoption regulations in many countries change faster we can keep up with them.
Your best course of action is to find an adoption agency or adoption professional that specializes in adoptions from Kazakhstan and ask them about the current regulations regarding anti-depressant use.
If you're considering adopting from Kazakhstan, join a support group or discussion group (either online or in your community) of parents who have adopted from that country and pepper them with questions. Parents who have recently adopted from a particular country are some of the best resources you'll find for gathering information.
After you've selected an agency to work with, be sure to disclose your use of anti-depressants. Your caseworker will help you determine what options are available to you.
Readers, please chime in with your advice! Would especially love to hear recommendations for online Kazakhstan support/discussion groups.
By Debbie Jansen
Guest Columnist
Recently, I approached church moms with this question, “How do you plan to potty train your child?” The answers were both astonishing and alarming.
All of the above ideas can be damaging to your child because they don’t consider all the factors that make up potty training. The thought process, bodily functions, mental capabilities, social gratification and self-esteem of your child must all play a role in potty training.
For the first time in your child’s life, he/she must learn a new task and transfer that task from the subconscious to the conscious. Instead of a subconscious act, they must think ahead and plan for the future. In place of no thoughts, he must understand that waiting until the last minute could mean soiled clothes. Instead of enjoying play dates without concerns, she must now think about her appearance.
That’s a huge task for such a little body and inexperienced mind. There’s good news! Potty training is easy and can be done in one day. All it takes is a little planning, an understanding of your child’s needs and a lot of love.
**If you are facing this daunting task, I encourage you to get my 16-page booklet, Potty Training in One Day. This booklet will help you train your child as you build your relationship. Go to www.debbiejansen.com and click on Resources.
Debbie Jansen is the author of Discipline Exposed: Surviving Fried Worms and Flying Mudballs.
Visit her blogs at:
Up until now, embryo adoption has not been governed by the laws of any state. That changes July 1, 2009, with Georgia's "Option of Adoption Act."
Michael Foust writes in the Christian Examiner:
"The bill
(which was passed by the House 108-61 and the Senate 45-9, and signed by Governor Sonny Perdue) amends Georgia's adoption laws to make clear that embryo adoption in
fact is a form of adoption.
The law also allows adoptive parents to file in court for a final order of adoption (for the child who is born as the result of the embryo adoption), which supporters of the new law say clarifies that the adopting parents are eligible for claiming some but not all of their expenses for the federal adoption tax credit..."
The new law defines an embryo as "an individualized fertilized ovum of the human species from the single-cell stage to eight-week development."
The law states: "A child born to a recipient intended parent as the result of embryo relinquishment ... shall be presumed to be the legal child of the recipient intended parent."
In the other 49 states, couples participating in an embryo adoption must sign private legal contracts that treat the embryo as property.
One of my readers writes:
This mom-to-be would love to hear from others who have dealt with similar situations. I don't have much experience in this area, so if you can offer her some helpful advice, statistics, or resources where she can get more information, that would be great
By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist
The winter of 2005 proved to be the most frigid winter in fifty years in the northeastern land of Kazakhstan. Within minutes of being outside, the cold promised to sap the breath out of those who walked in its domain.
Nestled 700 kilometers southeast of Omsk, Russia, the city of Semipalatinsk's temperatures dropped below forty degrees Celsius at night. The opportunity to learn about the region our daughter was born in was kept to day when sunlight warded off the worst of the bone-chilling weather.
One particular afternoon following our visit with our daughter-to-be at the orphanage, my husband decided to finish up our souvenir shopping before returning to the apartment. I remained in the van with our driver, Pasha. A communication barrier loomed between us as neither one of us spoke anything but a few sporadic words of the other's language.
After my husband and the translator left, Pasha nodded his head, peeked through the rearview mirror at me, and gave a grin that displayed jagged spaced teeth with portions of silver and tan. He rocked his head back and forth and pointed to the two men. Wrapping his arms around his body, he chattered his teeth. With his voice raised at the end of his sentence, I knew he asked me a question.
Nodding my head, I circled my finger around the side of my head and said, “Yes. They are crazy. I have no desire to be out there.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes. We watched cars scurrying up and down the street. Some cars parked, and those dressed in proper winter gear exited out and preceded toward the outdoor shopping bazaar. This place with the best bargains for traditional Kazakhstan kitchenware as well as clothing provided safety from the frosty weather with only a tent covering.
Tugging the flaps of his hat, Pasha pointed to the various men and women who walked by in their long mink coats. He shook his head, “No,” as he pointed to his head, the others, and then at me. I understood by now that one wears a head covering under all circumstances, but especially during these severe weather conditions. I learned that the men wore either a mink tundra hat or a leather beret. The women wore fur hats that resembled a huge ball of animal hair. Regardless of the style, each hat included flaps so the ears were protected from the icy winds sweeping through them.
“I was too hot in here to keep my hat on,” I said. I waved my hand in front of my face, stuck out my tongue, and panted like a thirsty dog. Pasha laughed and turned down the heat and reached to touch my head. Not wishing to offend him in anyway, I put my hat back on.
“How do the ladies walk in those boots?” I asked Pasha as I lifted up my foot and pointed to the heels. “I would fall down and break my neck,” I said as I collapsed onto the seat and grabbed my neck.
Pasha chuckled, lifted his foot, and with force rammed his heel down to the floor.
“Well, that makes sense,” I said as I shook my head, “But I’m sure I’d still fall.” I dropped back down on the seat again. He laughed and fell down on the front seat. When he sat back up, we exchanged smiles with each other.
As Pasha asked me a question in Russian, he swung his arms and reached around his back and said my husband’s name.
I nodded as I recalled the evening my husband recollected to me about his experience at the men’s bathhouse with the Pasha and Darkhan, the translator.
“Oy! Oy!” he said several times.
“Yes. He said it hurt when you hit each other with the sticks,” I said as I swayed my hands like I cracked a whip.
Pasha’s smile disappeared and with hesitation in his words, I realized he was concerned that my husband didn’t enjoy his experience. I wrapped my arms around myself and smiled to assure him that he liked it. He seemed to comprehend my message as his colorful teeth gleamed from his mouth again.
Time quickly passed as we continued our game of charades with lots of laughs shared between us. The lesson I learned that day was that actions do speak louder than words.
Learn more about Beckie at God's Gracious Gems blog, and at her adoption foundation, Our Creator's Hope.
Several of my Twitter "tweeps" alerted me to a new slasher movie that's being released by Warner Brothers Pictures July 24. In Orphan, Kate (Vera Farmiga) and her husband John (Peter Sarsgaard) decide to adopt an older child from a local orphanage.
They meet with the orphanage director, who warns them, "Adopting an older child is not an easy decision."
Almost as soon as they welcome Esther (Isabelle Fuhrmann) into their home, an alarming series of events begins to unfold, leading Kate to believe that there's something wrong with Esther--this seemingly angelic little girl is not what she appears to be.
In a movie trailer strongly reminiscent of the 1976 horror flick, Carrie, we learn that Esther was in a mental hospital before being adopted, and that the orphanage has never heard of her.
During one scene in the trailer, Esther states, ""It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own."
Sigh.
My own (adopted) children are axe murderers -- aren't yours? All adopted children have something wrong with them, just by virtue of being adopted. Right?
Apparently, the misguided Hollywood screenwriters think so. And they see an adoption-themed horror movie as the perfect means to play on the public's fears about adopted children... and make millions in the process.
In a blog post by Cathy Doheny at CharolotteExaminer.com, she suggests that people in the adoption community boycott the movie (which is Rated R, so who'd bring their kids to it, anyway?); tell others to boycott the movie, post warnings about the movie on adoption forums; and petition Warner Brothers to change the negative adoption lingo.
She also recommends preparing school-aged adopted children about the movie, so they'll have ways to cope with the misconceptions about adoption suggested by this movie.
Cathy also says:
Contact the distributors (Warner Brothers), the producer (Dark Castle Entertainment), and the developer of the material (Leonardo DiCaprio’s Appian Way, who is also co-producing the film) and express your concern about the negative impact of the film on the cause of adoption.
Apparently, Warner Brothers responded to angry e-mails, saying:
We "would like to inform you that we are changing the marketing materials related to this film on a forward-going basis.
"The Orphan" is a work of fiction, and we apologize if we appeared
insensitive in advertising the film, as it's never our intent to offend
anyone with our products."
No changes have been made to the trailer, however.
The adoption community is continuing to put pressure on Warner Brothers, and the movement has gone viral, with a new Facebook group, I am Boycotting Warner Bros.' "Orphan" Movie.
As of this moment in time, the group has 906 members (including me). Won't you consider joining us?
It's always a challenge to find a good list of books on infertility, so I felt I'd hit the jackpot when Tina Smith from the Fertility Center in Chattanooga, TN referred me to their site:
The Support Central area provides a huge list of infertility books, Web site links, and articles.
Thanks, Tina, for sharing this site loaded with helpful resources!
Adoptive dad Gary Morgenstein alerted me to his new novel, Jesse's Girl
Gary writes:
Gary’s previous novels are Take Me Out to the Ballgame and The Man Who Wanted to Play Center Field for the New York Yankees. His latest novel, Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman, a romantic triangle about a divorced middle-aged man who falls in love with a beautiful rabbi, was just published on Amazon.com. His play, Ponzi Man, played to sell-out crowds at a recent New York Fringe Festival.
*Note from Laura - I have not yet read Gary's novel, so this announcement is merely that: an announcement that I thought would interest those who like to read adoption-themed novels. Enjoy!
I've been a member of the micro-blogging service, Twitter, for many months now (@bloggingbistro). But after reading Joel Comm's book, Twitter Power: How to Dominate Your Market One Tweet at a Time
You can find me on Twitter @adoptionexpert.
You may be wondering: Isn't having two Twitter accounts a bit of overkill? Perhaps. But here's why I did it:
These are the ONLY people I follow on @adoptionexpert. I did this on purpose, so that if you join Twitter and want to find other adoption tweeps to follow, all you have to do is follow the folks I follow.
And if you follow me, I'll follow you back if you tweet about adoption (just use the #adoption hashtag on your adoption tweets and I'll find you).
The community of adoption Twitterers is small, but active, and growing at a fast clip. My tweeps (that's Twitterese for "Twitter peeps") constantly point me to interesting articles and opinions about adoption and share snippets about what's going on in their lives. Since I'm running a business and don't have time to blog daily here at Exploring Adoption, Twitter is a great way for me to keep up with what's going on in the world of adoption.
What are you waiting for? Set up a Twitter account and join us!
(If you need help getting the most out of Twitter, I provide low-cost consults. Contact me.)
P.S. You can also follow my most recent Twitter updates from the far righthand sidebar of this blog.
By Ali Telfer
Guest Columnist
www.missionfielddesigns.com
The adoption process is exciting. But along with the excitement comes the uncertainty about how to come up with the funds to pay for the adoption.
There are many ways to raise money for an adoption. Most people can refinance their mortgages, or use home equity loans. For us, that wasn't a possibility. We had to think of other avenues. After our home study is completed we plan on applying for different low-interest or no- interest loans, but being approved for those isn't certain. This is where Mission Field Designs comes into play.
About 4 years ago, I started my very first blog on Home School Blogger. Since I homeschool my four biological children, this was a great place to connect with other home schoolers. I was able to learn some basic html and css by playing around with the templates that were provided on Home School Blogger. Eventually that led to my curiousity of ways to make designs for other blog formats. Since then I have learned how to design for not only Home School Blogger's platform, but Homestead Blogger, Blogger, Wordpress, and Typepad.
When thinking of ways I could raise funds for our adoption on my own, I decided to open up my services as a blog designer and ask for donations in return. I have already been able to use part of these donations to pay for some of the initial fees that incurred when we signed up with our adoption agency. We are no where near the amount that will be needed to pay for the rest of the adoption, but I am so blessed to be able to be raising funds little by little using the talents that have been given to me.
We are almost at the half way mark with our adoption through PLAN Loving Adoptions Now, Inc. It is becoming more of a reality the closer we get. We are all excited to bring a new baby into our home.
If you are interested in my services as a blog designer, have heart for helping families adopt, or would just like to leave a small donation, you are welcome to contact me.
*Note from Laura:
Ali and I "met" last week on Twitter. I
visited her Web site and was impressed by the creative way she's
raising funds for their upcoming adoption. If you're a blogger or a
Twitterer, I suspect you can benefit from Ali's expertise.
We invite you to follow us on Twitter:
Saturday, May 9, 2009 is Birth Mother's Day. Were you aware that there's a special day set aside to honor birth moms?
Started by a group of Seattle birth mothers in 1990, Birth Mother's Day has slowly, but surely been gaining national acceptance and recognition. The date is easy to remember, because it is always the day before the official Mother's Day.
I'm thrilled to share with you that my long-time virtual friend, Coley Strickland -- co-founder of BirthMomBuds, was featured in an Associated Press article that has been picked up by newspapers around the country (pictured: Coley & her son a couple of years ago).
Here's a link to the article in the Orlando Sentinel:
In an e-mail to her fans, Coley writes:
"I think it's a GREAT article that shows birthmothers do have feelings, they love their children, and they miss them forever -- and most importantly, it's ok to think and feel all of that!
I urge you to read the article and put some thought into how you can honor a birth mother this Saturday. Whether you're a first/birthmom, an adopted person, an adoptive parent, or someone who's interested in adoption, most of us know of at least one woman we can reach out to on Saturday and let her know we appreciate her.
As for me, I'm starting by getting cards for my sons' birth moms.
What are you going to do? Let's share ideas.
